Sunday, December 29, 2002

Went furniture shopping today, because we needed a new chair to match our new couch, which is my mother's old couch, which she gave us as a sort of Christmas present, which is all beside the point.

Therefore, I present my Grand Array Of Furniture Theory, or One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others.

CHEAPASS = PASSABLE.
This is the furniture you get at Mall-Warts. It's not pretty, but it's completely serviceable, and it's not really ugly, either. It's just kind of there, made of particleboard. It's inoffensive.
DISCOUNT = SOMEWHAT DECENT.
Discount furniture stores go in for cheap fabrics and those ugly couches with the high and poofy backs, but again, it's pretty inoffensive stuff. It screams 'starter furniture', but hell, everybody starts somewhere, and this stuff is generally not painful to the eye or to the ass.
REGULAR = PRETTY GOOD.
This is the kind of stuff that absolutely normal furniture stores sell. It's nice, it's comfy, it's well-upholstered, it's attractive, it actually occasionally makes you look at a piece and go 'ooh, I want that'. Mostly, it's furniture: stuff that's meant to be sat upon or to hold things, and to otherwise fade into the scenery. Makes sense, since it is scenery.
EXPENSIVE = UGLY AS HELL.
Medium-upscale furniture stores sell the ugliest furniture on the face of the planet. It's overwrought, it's overdesigned, it's overpriced, it's overpainted and overstuffed and just plain overugly. Expensive furniture is meant to startle guests into exclaiming 'what the hell is that thing and is it rabid?!' This is known as 'being a conversation piece'.
REALLY, REALLY EXPENSIVE = GORGEOUS.
These are the furniture stores that carry ten items, total, each put on a little pedestal and tastefully lit, with little stamped leather price tags that discreetly inform you that the chair you are ogling with your tongue hanging out is $4,999.99. This tends to dry up the saliva glands; a good thing, since if you actually drooled in here you'd send the owner's kids to college.

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 04:13 AM EST
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Thursday, December 26, 2002

To: whichever deity thought it would be funny to cover the parking lot in a thick layer of ice
From: Mooncalf

OW MY ASS.

Bite me,
Moo

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 06:34 PM EST
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Wednesday, December 25, 2002

Oh Jesus Christ Almighty in a skimpy purple bikini on his birthday, folks, italics ahead.

Just because someone put it on the Internet and you were able to download a copy of it to your computer does not make it yours to do with what you see fit. You got that? Okay? Can we get on with the business of being all 'peace on earth good will towards men' now?

You see that blog layout you made using nothing but CLAMP pictures that you downloaded off some web shrine somewhere? That LJ icon you made from that oh-so-cute bit of someone else's fanart that you've had sitting on your hard drive for two years? Or (gods all forbid) that piece of fanart you stole and uploaded to your own site, claiming that you drew it?

Well, knock it off, moron.

It used to be, once upon a time, that I firmly firmly believed that you should never ever use anything on your website that wasn't:
a). Made totally by you.
b). Explicitly given to you as a present by someone who knew you were going to post it.
c). Specifically taken from a website:
1). Explicitly dedicated to public-domain works.
2). After having followed all the fair-use rules that the website's owner has written.
3). And used only in the manner in which you are allowed.

And, you know, these are good base rules, even if I'm flagrantly violating them right now on the very blog where I'm ranting. Over the course of a few years I've rethought my position on using official art -- note that 'official', folks -- to be as follows:
If you paid for it or it was paid for for you -- if you actually bought that official artbook and scanned the picture yourself and edited the image -- then it is, if not all right, at least forgiveable. Artwork that was created to earn an artist and a company a profit and did turn a profit in your specific case is a cow of a different color entirely than fanart.

But we'll get there in a minute. Oh, we'll get there.

If you do, in fact, own a legally paid-for copy of the artwork in question, the artist/company in question has not specifically come out and said 'do not use our artwork for anything ever' (I understand that CLAMP has, in fact, said as much), and you give proper credit, you are still in the wrong -- hell, I'm in the wrong right here and now and I admit that -- but what you are doing is more or less forgiveable. Fair use, I'm tempted to call it. As long as you're not making any sort of money off that official art.

(Screencaps of video games -- do you own a legally paid for copy of the game? Screencaps of movies -- did you pay for a ticket to see the movie? Screencaps of television shows -- uh. Buy something from one of the sponsors of the show?)

But if that artist or her company ever contacts you and asks you to remove that art, the only acceptable answer is 'yes, ma'am, I'll remove it right away'. And then you do, folks. You take that artwork down and you replace it with something else.

There's something else we'll get to in a minute.

But fanart. Oh, fanart. Artwork created by amateur artists for the sheer love of the subject matter and posted on the Web for you to look at and enjoy. (We will leave out the entire tangential discussion on people who draw fanart and attempt to make a profit off it, because that's more of a 'long and thoughtful discussion of the issues' topic and I'd like to stay in 'frothing-at-the-mouth rant' mode at the moment.)
You know what? Art takes time and effort. Duh, you say. But it's true, and that's important. Even thirty minutes spent on a little pencil sketch is thirty minutes you could have spent doing something else. Getting a blowjob, say. Eating lunch. Discussing world issues. And once it's done you've created something that means something to you, something that you're pleased with, something that is, somehow, yours.
And then some idiot ganks your picture and makes a crappy animated LiveJournal icon out of it. Singing 'la di da' all the way, no doubt, just to piss you off.

Oh, I've heard all the arguments about this. About how fanartists should be flattered that someone liked their art well enough to make use of it. Well, all right, fine. If you liked it so much, why didn't you show some goddamned respect for it? Why didn't you take three minutes to find that website's FAQ and find out what the artist's usage policy was? Why didn't you take two minutes and email the artist to say 'hey, I really love this picture, can I use it for [x]'?
But no, because then that person might have told you 'no'! Oh, no, we couldn't have that! Whatever Fucksteak wants, Fucksteak gets, right? Fucksteak is entitled to use that pretty picture however Fucksteak sees fit, and damn the person who actually babied it into existence, right?

Even then -- even if you used fanart in terrible ways and never ever asked permission -- if you truly didn't stop to think that it might be offensive to the artist, well, now you know, right? Now you can take it down or go make amends, right? You can ask permission now, even if it's belated, right? Right?

And let me tell you something else. If any artist -- of official art, of fanart, professional, amateur, human, animal, or protozoan -- finds you using their art and specifically asks you to stop, the only acceptable answer is 'I'm sorry. I'll stop. It'll come right down' followed by, that's right, taking that picture down. Even if you had prior permission to use that art, if the artist changes his mind, you do what he wants.
If you attempt to argue -- if you yelp about 'your rights' or 'not hurting anything' or 'copyright' or 'fair use', if you sneer something about how they shouldn't put things on the Web if they don't want them to be used elsewhere, if you attempt to invoke the fucking law of the country you reside in, if you use any of these coy smirking bitchy excuses to avoid doing the right thing, namely, realizing that maybe the artist has some say over the distribution of works that belong to him -- then you have missed the entire point.

You are treating the wishes of another human being as if they don't matter, you see. It doesn't matter what you say; if you say anything besides 'yes, I'll take it down' you have proven yourself to be an asshole! It doesn't matter how 'right' you think you are, or how many people take your side, because you were wrong, and you yourself just proved yourself guilty in public! If you make an excuse, any excuse, you are admitting that you know you were wrong!
"The Fair Use Act states specifically that I can use it for this and so" equals "oh shit I got caught must act self-righteous". You aren't fooling anyone. We all know you're just trying to save face. You are denying that the artist is a fellow human being, you are making frantic excuses to avoid admitting that maybe the Fucksteak made a fucking mistake for once in his entitled little life, and you have no business expecting to be treated like a human being thereafter. Your behavior is unacceptable. You deserve to have your guests come to your home, make copies of your family pictures, and stick them on telephone poles downtown.
Do you want to see your mother's smiling face beaming out at god knows who with 'FOR A GOOD TIME CALL ME' written across her chest? No? Then cut it the fuck out, Fucksteak. She ain't theirs, and their art ain't yours.

... and, uh, you know, Merry Christmas, too.

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 04:28 AM EST
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Sunday, December 22, 2002

Right now, as I type this, ESPN2 is showing the Running Of The Bulls in Pamplona.

How cool is that?

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 06:41 PM EST
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Wednesday, December 18, 2002

Actually, the radio stations up here aren't bad, as radio stations go.

These are the presets on the car radio:

1). "Hi, we're 96.3, a NearFlannel classic rock station that plays the same 250 '60s and '70s songs over and over and over until you want to scream! However, we know that you actually really like thirty or forty of those songs, so you'll keep coming back. Muhahaha! And now, the weather!" *click*

2). "Eeee! 97.1! 97.1! We play new music first! We also play a lot of eighties music for some reason! Most of the music we play isn't too fluffy and teenyboppery! Most of it, anyway! New music! New! And now, a commercial!" *click*

3). "RAR 99.7 ME AM BLITZ ME PLAY HEAVY METAL YOU BANG HEAD! ME PLAY OBSCURE METAL! ME PLAY BAD METAL! ME PLAY GOOD METAL! YOU BANG HEAD NOW!" *click*

4). "CD101. We're just that cool. We are, in fact, the best radio station that ever existed. We're independently owned. We remember what 'alternative' means. We play obscure songs. We play new songs. We play old songs. We play local music. We have the best theme weekends ever. You will love us. We will send you scurrying to Google at least twice a week to look up a great song you'd never heard before. Because we love this town and all that is local we also broadcast the local hockey games." *click*

5). "Hi! We're also a NearFlannel station! We play classic rock too! What's the difference? We play classic rock from the '60s, '70s, and '80s! But right now, we're playing nothing but Christmas music! All carols, all the time!" *click*

6). "Hi! We're also a NearFlannel station! We play... classic rock! What's the difference? We play '70s and '80s music! Oh, come on, you know you love it! Or, at least, you love thirty to forty of the 250 songs we play to death, so you'll be back. Oh yes, you will be back!" *click*

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 03:16 AM EST
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Sunday, December 15, 2002

It was five-thirty in the morning.

It was five-thirty in the morning, and I was still awake, as usual.

It was five-thirty in the morning, and I was a bit sick, just enough to make my responses a little slow.

It was five-thirty in the morning.

It was five-thirty in the morning when, for absolutely no reason that I can determine, the word 'testicles' went floating through my mind, unattached to any other thoughts, with no other words preceding or following it.

It was five-thirty in the morning. I blinked and said, I should go the hell to bed now.

So I did.

The end.

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 10:35 PM EST
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Friday, December 13, 2002

(Note: while the situation described below did actually happen, the conversation is almost completely fabricated by me. Because, you know, I think I'm funny.)

(MOONCALF and BOYFRIEND are driving home from dinner when their beloved CD101 starts playing a Christmas song they've never heard before, entitled "I Won't Be Home For Christmas". Within moments they're both laughing their asses off.)

MOONCALF: Oh, this song is what Christmas is all about for me. I like this!

BOYFRIEND: So do I!

(Song ends. DEEJAY comes back on.)

DEEJAY: CD101. And that was Blink 182 with their Christmas song "I Won't Be Home For Christmas"...

(MOONCALF and BOYFRIEND gape at each other.)

MOONCALF: ...

BOYFRIEND: ...

MOONCALF: ... did we just admit feeling some sort of emotional kinship to a Blink 182 song?

BOYFRIEND: I think we did.

MOONCALF: Oh. ... does that make us horrifically lame?

BOYFRIEND: Not necessarily. I think it makes us traitors to our generation, though.

MOONCALF: Oh. Shit.

(Pause.)

MOONCALF: (singing, very quietly, under her breath) ... traitor to my g-g-generation...

BOYFRIEND: I'm pretty sure you're just compounding your sin.

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 11:11 PM EST
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Monday, December 9, 2002

So, I, uh, I like doujinshi.

Feel free to read that to mean 'I send insane amounts of money to Japan on a near-weekly basis in exchange for comics that I can't actually read but love to death anyway'.
Or 'I have magnetized my body so that it attracts images of copyrighted characters in compromising positions from thousands of miles away'.
Or 'there's a short box sitting here at my feet and it's full of doujinshi and won't be getting any less full any time soon'.
Or 'what little of my body is not owned by eBay is owned by PayPal'.
Or 'MINE MINE MINE MINE GODDAMMIT MINE', really.

And in my ongoing collection activities, I've made a point of purchasing every really godawfully wrong doujinshi that comes my way.

I have a copy of the infamous Pikachu/Vincent yaoi doujinshi. Yes, Pikachu does top, but who cares? Sephiroth and Pikachu play golf to decide who gets Vincent. Sephiroth in a polo shirt made me spit Dr. Pepper out of my nose.

I have a copy of a Trigun comic named, I believe, 'Love Love Maid Wolfy-Chan'. With, yes, a cover featuring Wolfwood dressed like a Playboy bunny. The back cover features Legato in a nurse's outfit. With bunny ears.

I have a Yami no Matsuei doujinshi which features chibi sex.

I have chased down and purchased (but not yet received) a copy of... the kittySpike/kittySpike Bebop doujinshi. Or a kittySpike/kittySpike doujinshi; apparently the circle in question makes a habit of these. I appear to be getting a copy of number 3.

I... need a longbox.

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 04:39 AM EST
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Thursday, December 5, 2002

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

... in other words, hi, I'm home, and it's a very good thing for everyone concerned that I do not generally walk armed into airports.

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 11:30 PM EST
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