Friday, September 27, 2002
1). So on a fangirlish whim, late last night, I pulled out my trusty kanji dictionary and attacked one of my Gensou Suikoden doujinshi with it. I decided to start with the title 'Gensou Suikoden', which I already knew meant something along the lines of 'Tales of the Water Margin'. So I looked up that particular 'gen' kanji.
And, of course, right there in the entry for 'gen' there is 'gensou': 'fantasy, illusion'. Well, Tales of the Water Margin, I thought. That's about right.
Immediately under 'gensou' I found 'genkaku': 'illusion, hallucination'. I punctuated at this for a long, long moment before crying, "Konami! How cruel of you!"
And then I laughed myself sick.
2). A quick quiz to determine if you can still be saved from the poison of fangirlism:
Say you are confronted by this three-dimensional hyper-realistic model maker.
If you carefully make a doll of yourself and put all the little clothes on it, you are only slightly a dork, inasmuch as you are online playing with a virtual model maker.
If you carefully make a doll of yourself and then use it to see what you would look like with different hair/a nose job/significant weight loss, see above.
However, if after you do that you go on to gleefully force the poor model maker to create lifelike representations of RPG characters in their underwear (say, for example, Miklotov from Suikoden II), you are indeed a dork.
And should you then go on to open up Painter and do something like this, you are a sad, sad little fangirl and your situation is hopeless.
Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 02:01 AM EST
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Thursday, September 26, 2002
Last night it was hazy, with a thin layer of clouds. The atmosphere was perfect: the nearly-full moon cast an amazing glowing ring of light onto the clouds, a halo the size of a dinner plate in the sky with the moon, brilliant and white, in the center of the nimbus.
Even looking up and bending backwards it was almost too big to take in at once. It was an awe-inspiring sight, the type of thing that might move poets to paper and painters to canvas.
And I...
... I grinned foolishly and said "Dude!".
Somewhere Shelley weeps for me.
Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 01:19 AM EST
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Wednesday, September 25, 2002
Weeping, clutching at me with shaking arms, he whispered, "I'll love you forever... until the stars burn out..."
... and then he ran me through with a twelve-foot-long sword, sneering at the fact that I could fall for such a transparent ruse. As I died I searched his face for a glimpse of the vulnerability I had written him to have; nothing but scorn remained.
alone dark dank weeping blood for my lost love mourning the life I shall never have...
... before pulling myself upright and realizing that, hey, I'm fourteen years old, maybe my life isn't over yet. Adulthood is life's way of telling a teenager 'you shut up or I'll give you something to cry about, young lady!', after all.
"I've never felt like this before!" he gasped, crushing his lips to mine, those lips that every girl wanted and only I had...
... and then he batted his eyes at me and asked me if I could pretty please help him inject heroin between his toes. I hated to do it, enabling his habits, but he could be so charming when he wanted something. Besides, he's the world-famous singer of a boyband and (despite how I denied it) I was just another teenager; if I don't do it he'll find someone who will and I'm nothing without him!
i shall drown in the sea of my own dreams, weeping for the dragons...
... or perhaps I shall drown in a sea of my own regurgitated dinner, rolling my eyes.
Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 03:05 AM EST
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Tuesday, September 24, 2002
A totally random thought that came to me today:
If my life to date were a John Hughes movie, it would go something like this:
Both Boyfriend and I would be high school students. Boyfriend would be a really skinny bony quiet guy running around on the edge of the school's metalhead population, with long frazzly hair and a worn Metallica concert t-shirt. I, on the other hand, would be a perfectly made-up and equally quiet New Wave chick, tuxedo shirt, jacket, long fluorescent skinny tie, frilly ankle socks, short curly hair with colored gel in it, the works.
If you actually made the effort to talk to Boyfriend, he would turn out to be really sweet and smart and kind. If you actually made the effort to talk to me, I would turn out to be a sarcastic gum-snapping but equally smart chick.
Somehow, in that oh-so-John-Hughesian way, we'd meet (cutely) and fall for each other. And we'd discover that although we had very little musical taste in common, we really liked each other's taste in music, and slowly our musical horizons would expand. We would make each other mix tapes. We would loan each other CDs. We would read each other's music magazines. We would attend concerts together.
There would be a nifty montage (set to music, of course) of us going to That 80's Mall and window-shopping and pointing out things we liked (horribly different, of course) and buying tapes and bopping around at totally different speeds to our various Walkmans and then laughing at each other. And then we'd have to go to The Food Court and split a big cup of fries, or something. Sit in a movie theater and throw popcorn at the screen.
And then our friends -- the metalheads and the New Wave chicks -- would try to pull us apart. And there would be 80s-Style Teen Angst. And then Love Would Triumph and the last shot onscreen would be the two of us moving into a tiny apartment and mingling thousands of CDs in a huge floor-to-ceiling CD rack. And smiling at each other as his Pink Floyd slotted in next to my Depeche Mode.
Cue ending theme. Roll credits. Call it 'Rhapsody In Punk' or something.
This oddly plausible but totally fictional Story Of Our Lives brought to you by: driving home after dinner, brand-new used CDs stacked high in my lap, flipping through the radio stations and chattering about the music they were playing. Boyfriend, the metalhead manque', and me, the New Wave No More.
(On another note: a mere ten years too late I have finally purchased a copy of Green Day's 'Dookie'. Why didn't anyone tell me how good this album was? I hate you all. You have let me down.)
Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 03:09 AM EST
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Tuesday, September 17, 2002
WARNING: This entry is overtly sexual in nature, discusses somewhat disgusting things, and as such should probably not be read.
So. I was on the pit of voles torturing myself with terrible, terrible lemons. A favorite pastime!
Now, I don't quite remember if it was the terribly overwrought Star Ocean lemon or the equally overwrought Chrono Trigger lemon, but it was something like that. And somewhere in the middle of it all, I tripped over this little gem of phrasing:
"...puffy labia fluttering with glee..."
I'll just give you a moment to contemplate this mental image...
... let's just hope they don't flutter too hard and get airborne! Gleeful giggling flying disembodied puffy labia, like butterflies gone hideously wrong! Making little wet splurching noises every time they landed somewhere! Leaving a trail of slime (and random pubic hairs) behind them like airborne slugs!
I can hear it now: "... hee hee *sound of wet canvas flapping* hee *flap* hee *squelch* hee hee *flap* hee *flap*flap*flap*SQUELCH* hee!"
... and now, I must go take some aspirin and lie down.
Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 02:00 AM EST
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Monday, September 16, 2002
... so, just how long can you live on a prayer before you fall off? And does it make any significant difference if your last name is Bon Jovi?
Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 02:44 AM EST
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Saturday, September 14, 2002
Less than forty-eight hours after the petition was started: 9,141 signatures.
I've always liked to think of myself as a reasonable and mature human being, capable of dealing with the outside world in a calm and rational manner.
I was so wrong.
IN YOUR FACE, PIT OF VOLES!
Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 12:08 AM EST
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Friday, September 13, 2002
So, as many of you know, the pit of voles has just announced that effective a month from now, they will be removing all NC-17 rated fics from their archives and not allowing any new ones to be posted.
On the one hand, I fully support their right to do this. Note I said 'right', not 'decision'. I loathe the decision. But it is, after all, their site, and they have the right to do this if they choose.
On the other hand, I fully support our right to remove ourselves from the site, our right to complain about the decision in private and public, and our right to petition the pit of voles to reverse the decision.
It should come as no surprise to anyone who frequents my blog or my site that I am uncomfortable with this decision. I read, write, review, and enjoy NC-17-rated fics, after all. They had several measures in place to ensure that people did not stumble across porn accidentally; these measures were, in all likelihood, more than sufficient.
I do not know their exact reasoning, beyond 'complaints'. I tend to blame an outbreak of 'protect our children!', but I don't know for sure.
Anyway. I signed the above petition. I provide the link so that you may do so as well, if you are inclined. Never let it be said that Mooncalf would ever do less than her best in the pursuit of the protection of porn.
Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 03:43 AM EST
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Wednesday, September 11, 2002
So I spent the end of the First Year with the exact same people with whom I began it, more or less. Mostly, unfortunately, less.
There's a very small and private anniversary that I associate with this day, you see, and it's not something that I expect anyone else to remember, let alone to enjoy with me. But I'll always remember that it exists, in my own head.
In remembrance of that particular anniversary, I'd like to send a message to a certain few people. I can only hope that they realize who they are:
I miss you. We miss you. Please come back, if you can bear it.
I can't say 'all is forgiven' because it's not up to me to forgive or ask for forgiveness, but... I miss you. We miss you. Please come back, and let us try again.
Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 11:37 PM EST
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Tuesday, September 10, 2002
So I was wandering around Japanese websites, as is my wont, and I found passing reference to... a Cowboy Bebop yaoi doujinshi.
Needless to say, I was immediately horrified, repulsed, and disgusted. Not Cowboy Bebop! Damn you! Damn you all! Some things should not be slashed!
And then I loaded up all the pictures as fast as I humanly could. Because, of course, if there's going to be a hideous train wreck, I want to see it and inflict it on people.
So.
...
...
...
Spike/Spike.
Actually, Spike-with-kitty-ears/Spike-with-kitty-ears.
... oh, Japan.
[UPDATE: 3:25pm] Well, in the grand spirit of sharing my train wrecks, here are the pictures, which will open in a shiny new window. I apologize for the image quality (or lack thereof). Please note that these images, while not explicitly pornographic, contain male/male kissing and heavy petting and should, therefore, not be viewed where anyone can see you doing it.
Page One
Page Two
I refuse to accept any responsibility for your reaction to these pictures. Putting your eyes out with a fork will not stop the pain; trust me.
Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 05:52 AM EST
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Saturday, September 7, 2002
New layout, obviously. It will continue to change and evolve as I tinker with it, but this is the basic shape of it. All the SD Ashton Anchors pictures come from the Star Ocean EX artbook, which was a present from Bonnie; Bonnie is the best Bonnie ever.
Tell me if anything is obviously broken, please. The table h0rks in Netscape 4.7, I know, and I can't seem to fix it. Also, if you're viewing this at 640x480, I... uh... I'm really sorry.
Also, here is a picture of my cats! Well, several pictures, really. Bad ones. But Alfador is the little tiny black one in the foreground, and Chessie is the big fat stripey one in back. Don't let the relative placement fool you, Chessie is about four times his size.
Now, to go break the layout. Where's my hammer?
Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 12:18 AM EST
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Tuesday, September 3, 2002
Feeling bad about your fanfic? Stuck in a rut? Convinced you can't write worth a damn?
Here. Let me make you feel better.
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taro luvs okama-hime-chaaaaaaaan!!!!!!!!!?!?! by tarosgurl
taro fins a prety girl on the road & falls n luv wit her!!!!!!!!!!my 1st fic please r&r no flamies!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Warmaster - NC-17 - Romance/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: Maybe - Reviews: 54 - Updated: 08-20-02 - Published: 08-20-02
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so taro gos walking n the fariewoods (a/n I kno they arn't in the game I mde them up their notrh of altaries!!! ^_^) n he sees somethin bside the road it's a gurl!?@??!!!!! he thoguht, runing over. n drawwing his big sword. n waving it. & bing all scareee. oh no shes ben HURT!!!!!!??!!!! she was bleedin real bad bcuz there was bandits that hitted her with sowrds an things n they thoguht she was dead n they were gonna RAPE HRE!!!!!@?!!!!!!! (a/n im sorry!!!! but igotta be RELISTIC n bandits r BAD!!!!!!!) n then taro came up n wavd his sword around n they all. ran away. so.
so tAro putted is sword away an picekd her up n she was real lite n ez 2 carry n prety (a/n she has red hair that is as long as her knes & gloing pruple eyes!!!! she is gorgoues!!!! all the boiz want her!!!!!?!?!!) n taro thot boy she'z real prety n i'm kinda lonley but i beter get Her back 2 town rite now becuz she could DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! n I can thikn about her beng prity l8r
so taRo ran alllllllll the way 2 altaries carying her n he noticed that she waz wearing the royal badeg of outlands on her green silk blouwse (sp? heeheheh I'm a real bad speler but i mean a shirt thing)! oh no he thot shes a pirncess the 1 that is missing!!!!!!!! n I found her!!!!!!!!! i bet therel be a reward hehehehehe (a/n oh taro dontbe such a HENTAIIII!!!!!!!!! giggle ^o^;;;;;;!)
n then he notics shes got asowrd 2 its a real small n thin 1 with lots of gold n jewels n leather n prity stuff on it n its in a big silver sheth with the wodrs 'pirnces of altaries' writen onit real prety n stuff n he thinks wow!!!!!! which 1 is she!?!?!??!!!?!!!?! myabe shes bothe!?!?!?!?!?!????!?!
n whiel he was runing real fast n tryin 2 save her he got all out ofbreth n stuff n he had 2 sit down n sudenly a really big taktak cmae up n bit him real hard n he was 22 tired 2 figth it so it wuz killin him n he was DYIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! n all ofa suden Okama-chan (a/n thats her name!!!!!!!!!!! it means WOLF!!!!!!!!!!!!!) stand up & shes bleedinall ver n she sez I WILL SAEV u MY RESCURE & she puls out the big sowrd n hits the taktak. n it dies with 1 HIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! n tarO goes WOW ur really amazing i like u ALOT!!!!!!!!!!! n she curtsis and sez I m Okama-chan n thos banditz thot. i was ded. n they wre gonna rape me n u saved mE!!!!!!!!!! n he sez Okamachan yur BEUTIFUL i think I love yu!!!!!! n then sshe falls down bcuz shes stil bleedin n stuff. so.
so taro goes eep!!!!! n grab her n run 2 altaries nget her fixed.n shes lyin in bed with her hair all dwon n shes in the sunshine n taro comes in with food n grabs her n kisses her real hard ad says okamachan yur all beter now!!!!!!!!! n she sez yes n he sez i wuz so WORRiED!!!!!!! n she sez its okay it wasnt 2 bad really cuz bnadits aint so bad cuz no1 everlovd me and evry1 in school is so MEAN. n my parents wre real meen. n never bout me presents. n so beeing hit by bad guyz isnt so bad cuz u SAVED ME!!!!! n finaly some1 undersatnds ME!!!!!!!!!?!? n then they kiss eachother n other stuff hapens (a/n go away u prevvrts!!!!!!!! u cant see!!!!!!! its privat!?!?!?lol >_<;;;;;;;;;;) (a/nwell okay cuz my friend LiLaNgLe1414 waned me 2: taro taks his cloths off & taks her cloths of & his thingie gets all HARD!!!!!!! n WET!!!!!!!! & she goes wow taro its so BIG!!!!!?!! n he sez i wont evr hurt u n he touchs her n she has an orgsm! (sp? i cant look ot up my parnts would FREAK!?!?!?!?) n then he puts his thingie in hr n she has another orgam! n he does 2! n then they both say i luv u 4ever n go 2 sleep. oh n they kiss lots 2.)
n so then he sez okamachan i love u n lets get married!!!?! & she sez i cant bcuz I promisd my parnts (a/n not her mean human parnets her REALY ONZ!!!!!! they wz a king n a qeen!!!!!!!?!) that I wld go be pirnces agan! & taro loks all STARTLED n screams UR A PRINSESS I KNWE IT I LUV U ALOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!?! so mary me n ill help u be princes again!!!!!
n so she does. n its really prity n she wears lotsa white lace n stuff n they love eachother ALOT. n they play nsync at teh weding!!!!!!!!?! cuz okamachan LUVS nsync(a/n i luv nsync!!!!!!!!!!!!! but the backstret boiz r cool 2 but britnys a SLUT n i hat her lol)n they go 2 altaries & they beat up the prim minster & cut of his head (a/n gross!!!!!!!!?!?)and she is princes!!!!!!!!!!! n taro is her conubin! (a/n sp? hes inher HAREM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol im so BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) n then they find out that shes princses of the outlands 2! bcuz her name means WOLF n the outlands r always ruled by WOLFS! so they go 2 the outlands n she flys all up n the air n zaps the bad men with her EYS cuz shes got powers cuz of her sowrd n bagde & stuff & also cuz shes a pirnces
so shes all hapy but shes sad 2. bcuz shes also pirnces of the 4 tritories (sp?) n they wont listn 2 her & give her back her throen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so taro runzover n waves his sowrd aroun n yells THIS PLACE S SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FCUKED! (a/n lol taro sez a BAD WORD!!!!!!!!! but hes PISSD!!!!!!!! im sobad lol) BCUZ OKAMAC=HAN IS YUR PRINCES N U WONT LET HER!!!!!!!!!?! so okamachan breaks down the gate!!!!!!!!! cuz shes real STRONG!!!!!!!!!! n they makeher princes after all n taro killz the bad bois that woodnt let her be princes!!!!!!!!! n shes happy!!!!!!!!!
n now that shes a princess of all 3 places again she nt aro have a BABYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!! n he luvs her LOTS!!!!!!! (a/n & ur not ALOUD 2 writ taro wit NEBODY else cuz he loves OKAMACHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! & if u do I HAT YUO!!!!!!!)n they livd happy for a longtime cuz okamachan is IMORTAL!!!!!! myabe shes a GODESS!!!!!?!?!?!? and she makes taro imortal 2! n theyr baby! teh END!!!!!!!!!!?!
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Note for the literal-minded: yes, I wrote every keystroke (I can't bring myself to say 'word') of that myself. I did not, in fact, steal it off fanfiction.net, despite all appearances.
Based on the LiveJournal entry and ML parody found here. Taro is part of the Warmaster RPG for the Sega CD system and as such is copyright Penumbra Productions Ltd. 2002. Tarosgurl is, unfortunately, also copyright Penumbra Productions Ltd. 2002.
Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 11:23 PM EST
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Monday, September 2, 2002
There is a seven-inch-long brown slug oozing across the sidewalk outside my house.
This is the coolest thing ever.
Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 04:44 AM EST
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