My name is Mooncalf, I'm a thirty-year-old fangirl from Ohio, and this is my weblog. Right now you're either somewhere in the archives or reading comments or something like that. To return to the main page, click here.

Wednesday, February 27, 2002

Briefly, because I feel philosophical but too impatient to work with it:

Remember, friends, life is short, but it's wide.

Getting off the narrow path is as easy (and as hard, really, nothing's harder) as going where your heart leads you, if only once in a great while. Succumbing to impulse when you have an hour to spare.

Even just doing something that you don't have to be doing. Creating something for the love of doing so. Finding the small ways to be generous. Learning to smile and let it go.

So, hey, step off that narrow road and join us over here. We're having a barbecue!

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 07:06 PM EST
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Monday, February 25, 2002

Reason no. 1,820,445 that I love Boyfriend, which will not be all that funny unless you've played some FFX:

I'm playing FFX. And there comes a point where Tidus must jump off a precipice into the water. And even though I was leading the way, when I get into the water, Wakka and Rikku are already floating there waiting for me.

BOYFRIEND: Hey! How'd they get down there so fast?
ME: ... I had them in my pants.
BOYFRIEND: ... you had Rikku in your pants, Tidus? Shame.
ME: Yes I did! And Wakka too! Never mind that he's twice my size!
BOYFRIEND: (considers Wakka the blitzball player) Hey! You had Wakka's balls in your pants!!
ME: (brief pause) AUUUUUUGH! (screams, throws things at madly laughing boyfriend)

The moral of the story is: some games do not contain the gay. FFX is one of these games.

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 08:04 PM EST
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Saturday, February 23, 2002

Home.
Exhausted.
Cranky.
Going to go throw myself in bed so hard that I bounce.

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 01:49 AM EST
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Wednesday, February 20, 2002

You know, I can really tell that certain people weren't major bookworms (as I was) when they were kids.

They're people who feel absolutely free to walk into the room where I am peacefully absorbed in my book, and start talking, and expect me to put down my book and listen. Sometimes these are the same people who will scream and rip your head off if you dare to speak during Buffy. Granted, it's technically easier to 'pause' a book, but dammit, I was reading, that means I'm busy, I don't want to make small talk now.
They're people who think that just because I've turned the last page of a book, I'm done with it, and am now free to entertain them. Okay, I'm a weirdo, a major bookworm, and a total nerd, but if the book I've just finished was anywhere near good, I'd really prefer to sit in silence for about ten minutes and think about it, let myself 'recover' from what may have been a reasonably emotional experience for me.
Heck, they're people who ask 'so what's it about?' and expect a coherent summary of the plot. I, personally, loathe this question. Generally, if it's someone who really ought to know better, I'll say, "It's about this guy, and he does stuff." Usually what I end up doing is silently passing the book over, back up, so that they can read the little summary on the back. After all, someone was paid to write that blurb, so someone else might as well read it, right?

Sigh. Okay, never mind, I can't even work myself up into a decent rant right now. I want to go home.

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 10:01 PM EST
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Monday, February 18, 2002

Or maybe I won't!
So I went down to see the eye doctor today, and after carefully inspecting my eyes, he informs me that, in my previous surgery, they lasered my eyes off-center. That's right, boys and girls, they apparently weren't quite aware of where my actual pupils are!

No, no, I'm being overly rude. In reality, I have so many various weird eye disorders that it's not, technically, their fault. But, anyway, it turns out that touch-up surgery would probably suffer from the same off-centering that the first surgery did. So I won't be having that done.

Yet.

Instead, I'll be waiting for this nifty brand spanking new computerized laser surgery process to be approved by the FDA. When that happens (in six months to a year, most likely), I'll come back to Houston and get my eyes lasered on again then.

At least he confirmed that my corneas have healed nicely and my nerve tissue is about half regenerated. Everything's great!... except that my main reason for coming back to Houston has just been obviated.
Oh well. Isn't it strange how I only use my blog as an actual diary/journal when I'm in Houston?

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 03:23 PM EST
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Sunday, February 17, 2002

I hereby wish to inform my body in writing that no matter how many times it throws up today, I will still be having laser surgery.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go take a giant nap.

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 01:56 PM EST
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Friday, February 15, 2002

This just in: Large outgoing men who have the tendency to gesticulate wildly while talking are no longer allowed to sit next to me on airplane trips. I don't think I've ever been elbowed so many times in a single three-hour period.
But, uh, I'm here. And I got here with only, oh, six hours' effort, which isn't so bad as plane trips go.

I don't feel like being funny. I'll be funny later. Right now, I'm just blogging to hear myself type.

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 05:30 PM EST
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Twenny-twenny-twenny-four minutes to go, I wanna be sedated...

Yeah, so it's about half an hour before I need to leave for the airport. Blah. I'm not looking forward to this. I hate flying, it's uncomfortable and boring. But it's gotta be done.

Reports will either be sporadic or far too often, depending. Oh, well, it's off to Houston with me.

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 09:11 AM EST
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Wednesday, February 13, 2002

Recently I bulled my way into a discussion of school uniforms that was taking place on a certain not-a-BBS that I frequent. Because, you know, for two years of my life I wore an honest-to-gosh sailor suit to school (thanks, Episcopalian church school!) and I couldn't resist the urge to embarrass myself by saying so.
Imagine, spending two years in a fuku and not developing magical-girl powers. I'm so embarrassed.
And then, because I could and I felt like it, I dug up my suitcase full o' ancient pictures and scanned a bunch of them, to prove it. Look, I was a dorky kid! Pictures will open in a new window.

Here's me in first grade. In a sailor suit, trying not to laugh at the camera. Before third grade, I didn't wear glasses, and I always looked like I was stifling a laugh.

Here's me in second grade, in a great head-to-toe shot of the sailor suit. Complete with honest-to-gosh saddle shoes. Once again, trying not to laugh at the camera. Gotta love that messy pigtail action, huh?

A couple of later pictures, too: here's me on my second-grade soccer team, the Red Saints! More pigtails!

And finally: AAAAAAAAA! Me in the classic Girl Scout uniform! Complete with the sash! And, you know, bad hair, dorky glasses, and everything. Yes, I was a total nerd after about third grade. Heck, I still am. But, uh, not in a Girl Scout uniform any more. I have some standards.

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 04:53 PM EST
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Monday, February 11, 2002

From the same team of lunatics that brought you SMMTF, I not-so-proudly present: the [Hero] towel. It's a handy way of describing hero-worship, especially hero-worship to the point of lunacy.
For example: let's say you are playing FF7. Don't argue with me, you are. And you watch younger Cloud hero-worship Sephiroth for a while. You then turn to your friend and say, "Boy, Friend, Cloud has a Sephiroth towel."
Or, say you're playing FF8. No, stop arguing. And you trip over Selphie's 'Sir Laguna website'. You then turn to your friend and say, "Boy, Friend, Selphie sure has a Laguna towel, doesn't she?" And your friend probably rolls her eyes and throws something at you.

So, the point? It's very simple. And somewhat gross.
See, after you finish jerking off while daydreaming about your hero, you clean yourself up with the towel. The special towel that you have just for that purpose. Your... [Hero] Towel.

Boy, you can really tell this was brought to you by the same team that developed SMMTF.
Over and out.

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 10:48 PM EST
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Saturday, February 9, 2002

NOTE: Names have been changed to protect the asparagus.

So, it's eleven am, and I'm about to walk out the door with Boyfriend to go to a car dealership and have car salesmen inflicted on me. Not exactly my favorite pastime, but since the last little wind-up car is in the process of disintegrating, well.

When we bought that little wind-up car, four years ago or so, it was used. And we got one of those most stereotypical used-car salesmen in existence. A large man in his mid-fifties with a florid face and a cheap suit jacket that didn't quite fit.

He called Boyfriend 'Mr. Godot'.
He called me 'honey'.

At that point in time, we were too eager to complete the sale and get out of there, so I gritted my teeth and didn't say anything. But this time we're not in any particular hurry.
I've informed Boyfriend that if I hear anyone at that dealership call me 'honey', I'm going to deck that person and we're going to buy from a different dealership.
Boyfriend agrees with me.
Four years later, I plan to strike a blow for feminism. Where are my brass knuckles?

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 10:35 AM EST
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Thursday, February 7, 2002

I tend to use the pit of voles as a handy-dandy form of self-mortification. Cheaper than a scourge, less gawthy than self-injury, less likely to set off metal detectors than multiple piercings, the pit of voles nevertheless inflicts a sufficient amount of non-deadly pain to serve as penance for my own Bad Fanfic Thoughts. And after an hour-long session of scourging the interior of my head with the spiked rosary of crapfic, I emerge holy and pure through the other side of the pain; humbled, mentally bloody, penitant of my Fanfic Sin, I am once again assured of going to Fanfic Heaven when I die. Hail Mary Sue, Our Fanfic Who Art In AU Heaven, hallowed be thy title, amen.

Ahem.

In other less metaphorical words, I like to go read really bad fanfic occasionally because it's fun to make myself scream and shudder. Like going to a horror movie!
Plus I've discovered that reading really bad fanfic tends to inspire me to write my own (hopefully less horrid) fanfic, if only to clear my mind of the vole-ishness.
And that, ladies and gentlebeasts, is why I like the pit of voles.

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 06:49 AM EST
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Wednesday, February 6, 2002

Okay, really quickly, here's the deal.

I'm currently in the process of yanking my sleep schedule around the clock, because in a week or so I'm going to visit my mother, who has this annoying habit of sleeping during the night.
Shoving my sleep schedule forward also has the annoying habit of totally destroying my brain. If I tried to write a blog entry about what I was thinking right now, I would probably end up typing the word 'sleep' over and over again. With the occasional 'food', because, well, I'm hungry. So, uh, that's my pathetic excuse for why I haven't blogged in a while.

Also, while I'm away, there's a prettydamngood chance that I'll be having laser eye surgery again. Yes, again. We're not really sure yet, but I may need touchup surgery. Hooray, another couple of months of eyedrops every two hours around the clock and light sensitivity and not being able to drive or watch TV or use the computer.
I still claim it was worth it. But anyway.

I've already said as much on my main site, but I'll repeat it here: for the rest of February, I may be a bit scarce. Or I may not. The oddest things make me productive, really. Bear with me; I promise I'll be back.

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 07:33 AM EST
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Saturday, February 2, 2002

Have you ever noticed that certain extremely sensual characters just do not have sex?
No, seriously. Some books/games contain characters who are so aloof or strange or refined or just plain Beyond The Fucking We Know that it's damn near impossible to imagine them ever having sex with, well, anything. Some kinds of elves come across this way. So do some kinds of vampires.
Actually, Gothy vampires are an excellent way to demonstrate my point, assuming I have one. Instead of engaging in actual sex (which is, at times, embarrassing, silly, undignified, sweaty, and messy) they participate in dark sensual homoerotic blood-drinking scenes that don't even require them to take off their perfectly-tailored trousers. And yet, it comes across as somehow sexually replete anyway.

The acronym I've taken to using to describe this sort of extreme-sexuality-without-sex is SMMTF: 'Something More Mystical Than Fucking'. Generally pronounced 'simmitif'.

For example, removing names because I fear the fandom:
FRIEND: I think that [extremely powerful and aloof wizard] and [extremely powerful, aloof, weird, hundred-thousand-year-old vampire chick] are definitely having mad sex with each other.
ME: Oh, hell no. Those two don't have sex with anyone. Too undignified. I could see them having SMMTF, though.
FRIEND: ... yeah, okay, I can see that.
ME: Yeah... you know, they sit across from each other and glare meaningfully, she leans over and touches her long cold white fingers to his temples, they both shudder, and then they have a cigarette.
FRIEND: ... you're so weird.
ME: Yeah. But I'm right!
FRIEND: Hey, fuck you!
ME: Oh, no way. I'll have SMMTF with you, though! *wiggles fingers mystically*
FRIEND: Oooh baby.
ME: Shudder. Ooh. Was it good for you too?

... okay, so I really have no point. The term just amuses me utterly.

Posted by Mie Tsukikoushi @ 11:53 PM EST
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