TUESDAY: Get up early. Pad around house waiting. Eventually, a Suze calls. The Suze is lost. Take cordless phone out onto front lawn, give new directions. Eventually acquire a Suze.
Talk to the Suze. Bitch with the Suze. Introduce Boyfriend to the Suze. Feed the Suze. Show the Suze various cool video games. Mess around with a Sarah online while chatting with the Suze. Blow up the Suze's bed. Crash.
WEDNESDAY: Run around with the Suze. Feed the Suze great breakfast food. Coerce the Suze into spending most of her con money in Ohio. Chatter non-stop with the Suze. Note that throat is starting to hurt from all this talking. Mention this. Ignore it. Chatter more.
Feed the Suze again. Show the Suze more video games.
Go downstairs, mess around with a W2 online, eventually go pack. Notice that it is 1am. Bitch about having to get up in six hours to drive to New Jersey. Make really stupid decision: let's just leave with the Suze right now! Not tired!
Become tired five minutes after leaving house. Let the Suze drive for four hours or so. Check into cheap bug-ridden motel. The Suze gets three hours of sleep. Get hour and a half of light doze. Wake up, play with laptop, wait for the Suze to shower. It is now technically
THURSDAY: Drive for several more hours through horrible Pennsyltucky roadwork. Or, more to the point, be driven through by a Suze that is much saner than self. Have nausea, stomachache, remind self forcibly that one is old and set in one's ways and this was a really, really stupid idea. Have a great time anyway, being so punchy as to be really, really disturbingly funny and to find everything really, really disturbingly funny in return. Drink immense amounts of water.
Eventually locate and acquire an Ashlea. Give the Ashlea a present. Chatter with the Suze and the Ashlea. Leave.
Promptly fall asleep in back seat.
Half an hour later, wake up, still exhausted but reasonably alert. Leave the freeway in a desperate bid to find gas in the middle of nowhere. Start a chain of insane jokes that does not end for the next two hours. Spend next two hours laughing head off with the Suze and the Ashlea. Go completely insane.
Discover that New Jersey hates us because we made jokes about Jesus. Get totally derailed five or six times. Curse New Jersey. Finally arrive at hotel. Go up to room, dragging suitcases. Meet roommate for con, a Bonnie. Sit around, be insane, laugh a lot. Throw icky sweaty gross self in shower. Call Boyfriend. Tell Boyfriend that am still among the living.
Go down to hotel cafe', eat sandwich. Appreciate the Bonnie's willingness to wander around the hotel in pajamas.
Sit around yammering for a little longer. Throw self and others into bed. Marvel at the fact that room is absolutely silent five minutes later. Marvel at the fact that three sleeping women make less noise than one sleeping Boyfriend. Eventually fall asleep.
FRIDAY: Wake up at the ungodly hour of seven am. Look at sleeping women. Get dressed silently, grab laptop and book, sneak downstairs to registration.
Wait around for an hour. Register for con, get badge. Also get fricking annoying yellow wristband that certifies self as old fart and entitles self to buy porn. Decide that it's worth the annoyance.
Go back to room, discover that other women are awake and showering. Discuss plans. Discover that dealer's room does not open until two pm. Curse.
Go down to cafe' with other women, get enormous breakfast, babble about smut and gay boys. Frighten nearby businessmen. Smirk.
Get other women registered. Mess around for a while. Get in line for dealer's room very, very early. Chatter about smut and gay boys. Watch line get longer, and longer, and longer. Smirk.
Get let into dealer's room. Immediately head for the adults-only area. Buy doujinshi. Buy doujinshi. Buy doujinshi. Decide to be nice and leave about half of the YnM doujinshi behind. Cruise the rest of the dealer's room. Buy present for Boyfriend.
Eventually discern the whereabouts of a D. Go down to her room with others in tow. Meet an Arielle. Meet a Keri. Get pounced on by a W2. Say "Hello, Camus." Am gratified to realize that there is no need to explain this seeming non sequitur.
Get snuggled. Laugh a lot. Try to make plans. Get foiled.
Split group in two, make another trip through dealer's room, buy a couple more doujinshi.
Go back to the Suze's room, sit around, order pizza, read doujinshi, be total dork.
Acquire rest of group eventually, sit around, snuggle with friends, be total dork some more. Discover that the W2 has startling propensity to drape self over whoever is within reach.
Eventually stagger back to room, page through doujinshi some more. Sleep.
SATURDAY: Wake up at more reasonable hour. Shower. Knock on door reveals a W2, who promptly spins around and demands that I admire her ass. Admire ass. Admire chaps. Let W2 use phone to discover her true destination.
Eat huge breakfast. Go through dealer's room, buy another doujinshi or two. Wander aimlessly through hotel with friends, trying and failing to make plans. Start to feel a little ill. Decide that lack of sleep and consumption of five sausages at breakfast are two things that do not combine well. Also discover beginnings of giant head cold. Refuse to be surprised by this. Take leave of friends, buy cough syrup from hotel shop, go back to room. Take cough syrup, nap a little, take pills, nap a little more.
Try to catch back up with friends. Eventually find friends. Find more friends. Go downstairs, take another trip through dealer's room, meet a Nezumi. Receive a handful of Canadian coins from the Nezumi. Squeal. Inform the Nezumi that, sadly, have no nickels to give him.
Finally hit Artist's Alley. Scrutinize art show pieces, recognize artist acquaintance Primera, immediately try to force friends to buy prints from Primera. Chatter about random things with Primera and friends.
Take another turn through dealer's room. Find present for the Sarah. Buy CDs.
End up in the Suze's room again. Pile on bed with friends, be total dork, order Chinese food. Eventually watch all of Yami no Matsuei anime again, with several pauses to be dork, talk to friends, call Hisoka a giant girl, make the baby Ashlea cry. Enjoy self immensely.
Stagger back to room, collapse into bed. Sleep poorly.
SUNDAY: Wake up at even more reasonable hour. Shower. Pack aimlessly while chatting with the Bonnie. Eventually get dressed and go down to dealer's room for final turn through. Decide that the time for mercy is past. Swoop down on every doujinshi box, take everything that catches eye, pay deep discount prices, point and laugh at other fangirls. Make dumb jokes with friends about 'winning' con. Make dumb jokes about being old and having money. Enjoy this immensely.
Wind up in lobby splatted out on couch with many friends, in a messy pile of flesh, being total dorks. Make loud jokes about smut. Laugh a lot. Show off newest doujinshi. Confirm that friends all think am insane spendthrift with more money than sense. Admit to this. Refuse to care.
Eventually start losing friends as they leave hotel and head for home. Hug friends tightly. Unlike some people, am not slipped the tongue by the W2. Am vaguely hurt by this. Remember that am generally heterosexual. Slap forehead and say 'd'oh'.
Bring bags downstairs, check out, write the Bonnie check for half of room. Get in D's car, go to D and Arielle's place, splat out on carnivorous couch. Immediately finagle DSL access, check email, get 59 new messages. Delete most of them. Save the ones that need to be answered. Decide to answer them later.
Make final tally of swag: eighteen YnM smut doujinshi, four Trigun smut doujinshi, one FF6 smut doujinshi, one FFT non-smut doujinshi. Also neat plastic postcards, presents for the Sarah and for Boyfriend (with duplicate of Sarah's present for self), two CDs, Pocky. Once again proclaim that have won Shoujocon. Am agreed with.
Finally am able to feed self. Play around on computer. Sleep.
MONDAY: Sleep. Eat. Write con report. Leave lots of stuff out because am now in the throes of major head cold. Survive on massive doses of drugs. Blow nose lots. Adamantly maintain that con was worth it.
Replies: add your comment: currently 12 comments
funniest con report *I've* read so far, that's for sure.
Dear Ohio:
Moo will not be returning. She has found the Geek Lair.
Boom shanka,
New Jersey.
Posted by D @ 07/23/2002 08:40 AM EST
Well, I'm glad you had a great time, Moon, and met so many interesting people. And that is AWESOME Nezumi gave you all those Canadian nickels. LOL
Me, I probably would have said "Hugle de hugle! Wuv I Vous!"
=^_'=
Posted by Wolf @ 07/23/2002 10:18 AM EST
It does sound fun. :) Glad for ya.
But PA is noooot as bad as Kentucky. Yes, the roads are about as smooth as the surface of the moon.
But the accent is lighter. :P
Posted by StB @ 07/23/2002 03:57 PM EST
Sounds like you enjoyed yourself! Rawr, I need to save money and attend a con sometime soon. *craving the geek lair experience bad*
...Mmm... smut... heeheehee.
Posted by Saikou @ 07/23/2002 04:35 PM EST
*waves at Saikou*
It's funny. Saikou and I recently discovered we were both regulars on this other forum somewhere, but we never realised that we were the people from your blog. Heh.
Posted by Nathan @ 07/23/2002 08:09 PM EST
Hi, Nathan! ^_^
Funny how things like that work, huh? One day you're just minding your business reading conversations about physics and oogie-deformities-cum-Miyu-references, and the next thing you know you're encountering people at random places on the internet. Weerie. o_o
And now, back to the subject at hand, which would be smut doujin. ...perhaps I should not type what just came to mind.
Posted by Saikou @ 07/23/2002 09:37 PM EST
I stumbled upon your blog awhile back and realized we come from the same state. It's hard to find people such as myself that like anime and so forth...especially in Ohio. I live very close to Chillicothe......between many soybean and cornfields...Am i the only Ohioan that is beginning to hate cornfields? I'm going to Ohayocon this year..it will be my first con ever.
Posted by E.C.C. @ 07/24/2002 12:16 AM EST
*sighs* I *still* want to hear about that FFT doujinshi...
Posted by Nathan @ 07/24/2002 04:03 AM EST
Heh. Well, since I don't read Japanese, I'm limited to looking at the pretty pictures, so I really... don't have any idea what's going on in said FFT doujinshi.
It involves Delita. Um. Mooning over Ramza, I think, and squeezing a pigeon at one point. That's not a metaphor.
... I'll poke one of my Japanese-speaking friends next time I have access to one and get her to tell me what the heck is going on.
Posted by Mooncalf @ 07/24/2002 03:06 PM EST
Thanks, Moon. Cool of you to do so. ^_^ Squeezing a pigeon, eh? Who knows? Maybe his political plans for domination involve birds at some point... *giggles at the image of Delita hatching a plot that requires the involvement of a pigeon*
Posted by Nathan @ 07/24/2002 07:47 PM EST
Perhaps the pigeon holds the secret to foolproof domination and the only way to get it to tell him how was to squeeze the poo out of it!
Er... or something. o_o
Posted by Saikou @ 07/24/2002 09:36 PM EST
oooooooo *jealous* Wow. I am glad to hear you had such a good time! Congratulations on your new smut collection, Moon.
Posted by Sheerlyevil @ 08/01/2002 03:32 PM EST
