In the beginning, it was just that I hated kids.
Kids. Shit. Little screaming tribal horrors that they are, destroyers of property and personality and intellect, ravening beasts of endless selfishness and greed. I would rather raise a wolverine than a child, and if you ever hear that I've squatted out a mini-me, hit me with a shovel, for I have been replaced with a pod person.
It may strike you that I might not make the best mother, and you'd be right. I have to forcibly restrain myself from punching total strangers who annoy me for five minutes in a restaurant; what terrors would I visit on a little helpless wailing banshee-thing that was attached to my tit or my leg or my wallet twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, fifty-two weeks a year, for eighteen years and up?
But then it occurred to me. I hate the elderly, too.
And I don't really know why. Something about the way they look and move just sends primal terror screaming down my spine, as if once the human race was hunted nearly to extinction by slow-moving wrinkled predators and the atavistic terror that was instilled in my forebears came to the forefront in me a hundred thousand years later.
Maybe it's a revulsion beaten into me by the youth-loving culture of America. Maybe it's just me being a raving bigot. Maybe it's because, like with children, I've never been sure of how to handle the elderly, and usually end up nervous and silent. The elderly, like children, can smell fear.
And on further thought, I came to the conclusion that I hate teenagers, too.
Because once I was one, and what a total fucking moron I was. What total fucking morons we all were, every conformist sheep-like one of us terrified of ostracism, every non-conformist surly one of us proud of the fact that 'no one understands me'...
They want to be adults and children at once, have the perks of both states and the drawbacks of neither. Those few of them that can see past their own needs and wants are stifled and ostracized by the others, until the sheer pressure of it causes this 'fault' to correct itself. The rallying cry of the teenager is "But it's not fair!" Or perhaps it's "It's not my fault!"
Furthermore, I discovered, I hated most people of childbearing age.
Parents. Gods above, those parents who want the entire world to be sterilized and G-rated for their little cublings, who let said cublings run riot and do whatever the hell they please, who pump out one squalling resource hog after another. Parents who sacrifice everything that they own, and earn, and are, simply for the dubious pleasure of raising their precious sperm'n'egg omelets, and then can't understand why the rest of the world doesn't fall at their children's feet...
How many more pleasures must I lose to their insane drive to clean up the dirty world, just so their offspring can run around wild and free and barefoot unattended? How many more hours must I work to cover for them while they tend their children's sniffles? How much more money must I be taxed to pay for schools that I will never use?
And finally, curiously, I turned to the one group left, the twentysomethings, my own age group. And I found that I hated them as well.
Must we all be lost in nostalgia and pathos? Must all our bonding be over this antique video game or that old TV show or these old toys or those old cartoons? How much more whining must I hear about our generation being the first to do worse than our parents'? Do I have to live in a twisting spiral of need for the eighties for the rest of my life?
And we are so fucking self-centered! The first generation to suffer by being born under the seventies' relentless "I'm Okay - You're Okay" bullshit, the first generation to have it hammered into our little heads that every single one of us is special! Guess what? We're not! We're all a bunch of self-satisfied sheep, indistinguishable from each other at ten paces!
And having completed this exercise, I stood back and I gazed upon what I had wrought, and I realized that I hated them all, every human being that exists; I had consigned them all equally to the pit of my despair. And, seeing this, I wept.
And eventually, there in the darkness of my pit, there shone a ray of hope that dried my tears.
And that ray of hope was this: I was full of shit.
I'm still a terrible beast, of course. But now I'm more uncaring than hateful, and I can deal with that.
Replies: add your comment: currently 18 comments
Oh Mooncalf, how I love thee, despite the fact that you're a human being.
The human race as a whole has less merit and worth than a speck of cockroach dung, but it's like the Pit of Voles, oh Moonity...somewhere in that ocean of diarrhea lurks a small handful of semi-precious gemstones. (not diamonds by any means, oh God no...)
I knew one "Kid" category being that was a pure miracle. I insisted to his parents that he was not, in fact, their beloved 4 year old son, but instead a thousand-year-old ancient spirit that had taken on the form of a child to more easily watch over the world. He never squalled nor ranted, but when upset, would simply remove himself to a quiet corner to sigh. He always said pweeth and thankyuu and ek-koose me. FOUR YEARS OLD! You could sit for an hour and SERIOUSLY discourse about spiders and flies with the child. I wanted to kidnap him.
And for the elderly, I personally lived with a shining example of why Old People Rule. My dearly departed grandmother. No words can express her patience nor fun, so you'll just have to take my word for it. Or not. Either way...no skin off my back.
Teenagers. Well, you've got me there. Never met one that wasn't a total f-ing waste of carbon-based molecules. Especially me. EUGH. I need to send my mother a check in thanks for not drowning me.
And you know what? Parents. My mom owns. The older I get and the more I realize what a wee shyite I was...DANG. I need to erect a shrine to my mother, dammit.
And then there's me. A twenty-something. Mooncalf, I'm awesome, what are you talking about? *lol*
And whether what you're full of is of the bowel sort or not, as long as the gas you expend comes out in forms such as your writing and bloggings...who's to complain?
I love you. Eat ice cream with me. Or don't. I can deal with either~
Posted by Meriko @ 06/14/2002 09:39 AM EST
You're absolutely right about us teenagers. We are ALL little shits in some form or another. Even those of us who think we're advanced. And we've got the angst. Oh, boy, do we have the angst. You don't wanna touch the teenage angst.
Posted by Shoiryu @ 06/14/2002 11:48 AM EST
Okay, now Nezumi wants to make a bumper sticker. It'll read:
MOONCALF HATES ME. BUT SHE'S FULL OF SHIT, SO IT'S OKAY.
...it might help if Nezumi had a car to put it on, though.
Posted by Nezumi @ 06/14/2002 11:59 AM EST
*heh* at the bumper sticker idea...
Ahem, having grown up in a place where the proportion of old folks is equalled only by certain sections of Florida (true!), I have to say that only one segment of the elderly are irritating: those who think everything on earth is owed to them, because they outlived everyone else. Not special treatment because they have health problems - I'm okay with that. I mean the general self-righteous nastiness you'll often spot in the customer who snarls that they have to pay for [good or service] despite their age, the smug obnoxiousness of the old lady on the bus who laughs sadistically when you don't have exact change.
Arg. Just them. Which falls under "obnoxious and rude," which is the point, I guess.
I really do like this entry. (not that that's important, just chiming in). I tend not to like children unless I sense they'll grow up into geeks. ;) Terribly self-serving, but oh well.
Posted by StB @ 06/14/2002 12:41 PM EST
I like this entry, too, and I will say that yes, what I hate is the stereotype.
I DO hate stereotypes. I generally wish they did not exist, and yet, they DO exist, and have SOME knowledge to teach us. But you simply can't generalize about ALL people with stereotypes. You just can't. That CAN (and does often) certainly lead to unneccessary and irrational hatred. And we don't NEED any more of that in the world....We desperately need more LOVE in the world.
Yes....there are times I do really dislike (I don't feel I actually "hate"; that's such a strong word, and I don't feel that extreme within me) for people and kinds of people. Like kids. I see irritating kids all the time at work. Now, working at a library, you wouldn't THINK I'd see kids running around screaming.
But I do.
They are THERE. They run, scream, pull things off and over, and don't put them back, or if they do, the wrong way, of course. And get this; if you CORRECT some of these kids, their parents get ANGRY. They don't WANT you to tell their kids to stop doing bad things. Well, they're clearly not doing it, so who ELSE will??? These parents don't CARE if their kids misbehave sometimes. They LET their kids get away with shit.
I think this is part of the problem of your dislike of children, Moon. They misbehave, because their parents LET them. They have irresponsible parents who let TV, etc. raise their kids FOR them. This is one thing I don't like about parents/people of child-bearing age; there are those who are irresponsible and should not BE parents in the first place. How they HAD the kids is obvious. But as far as the rest of their story goes, I don't want to hear it. All I know is, some of these people are NOT ready or fit to be parents and should not be. It's the fault of the parents.
Of course, there ARE kids who, like any other kind of people, are just natural-born assholes. There's no other explanation; they are BORN being that way. Thanks a lot, God....
Yes, teens suck, too. I like to think that I had....odd times in my teen years, when I just plain sucked. But I sucked because I was a LOSER, not because I was an irrational asshole, like SO many others who I hope are failing in their lives right now. No, I was by no means perfect, nor is anyone else. I was not a Saint, but I overall was not a "bad" kid. I didn't INTENTIONALLY go out and do bad things just to piss someone off, or just to BE a pain in the ass (like my little brother did...). I had friends who occassionally DID do things like that, but I never did. You see, when I was a teen, I KNEW what a pain in the ass teens ARE, and I did NOT want to be that way. I don't LIKE annoying people, believe it or not (unless I possibly DO have a reason to do so..). I wanted to be loved and accepted. But it was not worth it to me to be a pain in the ass to get it. Especially since, when I WAS a pain in the ass, it did not grant me what I sought anyway....
I think teens get worse and worse with each year that goes by....There are times I certainly do damn some of the free trade of "information" and "ideas" that we have. But I also damn people for what is happening to kids today, because many of them just have bad PARENTS. It scares me, actually....It scares me a lot....
So in conclusion, I try not to generalize and stereotype. But I do hate the stereotype itself. And when I encounter one who fits the quota, I aim my dislike at the individual, not the whole of humanity. But I understand, it IS most often difficult to do...
But that's MY 2 cents.
Posted by Wolf @ 06/14/2002 02:17 PM EST
Hnn...I like this entry. It sounds like me a bit. 'Cept I'm a teen. I admit most of us are shitty little asswholes. I try to be a rather friendly sort of shitty little asswhole, though. Well, at least the kind of shitty little asswhole who isn't a SLA very often and consciously tries not to be. But the first part of your entry makes me think of a song (I might not have the words EXACTLY right, it's been a while since my grandfather's sung it):
"Italians hate the Ugoslavs/ Norwegians hate the Dutch/and I don't like anybody very much/ but man can be thankful and tranquil and proud/ for man's been endowed with a mushroom shaped cloud/and everyone knows that some lovely day/somebody'll light the fuse off/and we'll all be blown away..."
Frankly, it scares me...
Posted by Nagia @ 06/14/2002 06:46 PM EST
You know, I've always said that I hated humanity. However, each individual person is something special deserving love.
...Just in some of their cases, I'm sure not going to be the one to express it.
(Ditto on the kids, too. My mom kept saying I'd change my mind and want kids when I was older... then I moved back in with a six-year-old brother. Seeing how I reacted, she's finally decided to believe me.)
Posted by Andrea @ 06/14/2002 07:48 PM EST
Oh yes Mooncalf. You hit the nail on the head. I'm a teenager and I'm proud to say I can be a little f**k a lot of the time. Heck I have a baby sister who gives me trouble. Always wanting everything and destroying your property. But of course...more ranting. I feel too old. Good ole' Mooncalf. You never cease to surprise me.
Posted by Erica Lee @ 06/15/2002 11:09 AM EST
Moon...you amaze me. You Really do. That was without a shadow of a doubt the BEST blog ive seen you do in forever.Keep it up!
Posted by Cloud @ 06/15/2002 01:38 PM EST
Er...can I put in a vote for liking children AND the elderly? They're both age groups with interesting and unique perspectives on the universe.
Posted by Adobe @ 06/15/2002 05:10 PM EST
That did it. I'm going to add "Mooncalf-worshipping" as an interest in my LJ -- when Livejournal goes back up, that is.
Posted by Yscaldine @ 06/16/2002 10:49 AM EST
First-timer, and I was terrified that I'd just followed a link into the completely Wrong Place. Then the trumpets blew and you concluded that you were full of shit, and that it was stereotypes you hated. The clouds opened up, relief covered me gently like manna, and it was good. I'm still working on my lifelong project to figure out how to convince people that it's not inherently necessary to pick a stereotype and then stick to it in order to live from day to day, but no luck yet. Good luck to you on your own way.
Posted by Midelne @ 06/16/2002 05:24 PM EST
While my percise thoughts are somewhat hard to form, I think I'll just rest on my comforable "people are people, some are assholes, some not. What group they fall under is unimportant" argument, and not confuse myself more.
But what do I know? I'm just a teen.
Posted by Samantha @ 06/16/2002 09:02 PM EST
Adobe, I think the point overall was that stereotypes and rude/obnoxious people are the problem. I personally have respect for the elderly and the young who, to begin with, aren't disrespectful to me. I'm not of the "every little child is a perfect angel and every word they say is a pearl of pure wisdom", because I have been through too many Christmases with young cousins and see what irrational terrors kids can be when they're worked up. However, that I don't consider hate. Hell, I'm just as annoying at times.
IMO the key is recognizing that every person - whatever group they're in - has the potential for good and bad traits, and not to judge them wholesale by what age or "type" they are.
Buuuut, then, what do I know. And I mean that, I'm not just being glib. ;)
Posted by StB @ 06/17/2002 03:58 PM EST
Well, in general I dislike small children. But that's all about my low patience. I like the elderly usually, but at times frustration breaks through. So... I guess I'm all for respecting those who respect me stand. It's all about the individual, isn't it? Good. Very somewhat thought-provoking entry. Goody.
Posted by Aaron @ 06/17/2002 07:04 PM EST
I like children. I do not like squalling brats. Unfortunately, too many squalling brats run around under the disguise of children. And teens, adults and the elderly, for that matter. I'm a patient person, but not with people.
I'm a teen. I would like to think I'm getting my act together. I despise angst, and try not to indulge in, preferring to try and show strength enough to soldier on through life.
Ah well. I can be an idiot sometimes. Nonetheless, I kind like me.
Posted by Felicity @ 06/18/2002 02:57 PM EST
Not ALL teenagers are either sheep or surly "No-one understands me" dumbasses.
I do /not/ conform. Never in my life I uttered that "no-one understands me." I don't give a damn whether you understand me, it's not my fault if your thinking is so limited by group conformity. I am who I am. I am mature, well-educated, and well-adjusted. (whatever you want to make of THAT.) I am my own person, and I take pride in the fact that I am not a mimicry of another person.
Peer pressure does not exist in my life. I don't care what everyone thinks of me, what everyone wants me to do. I do what /I/ want and everyone can be buggered.
I'm sorry if you were raised in such a way that conformity was encouraged, I really am. I wasn't, and I don't want the stereotypes inflicted upon me.
(and now I'm sure I'll get flamed. heh. *ducks and hides* I didn't mean to sound so.... mad, I guess, but that really irratates me (the stereotype))
Posted by Evil_Quistis @ 06/20/2002 08:28 PM EST
My initial reactions were like yours, Evil Quistis, but then I thought...
Mooncalf has every right to think this way about our age group. Why? well, the stereotype aside, we really are like this unintentionally. I like to think of myself as a person who cares about others, tries her best to help...
But that doesn't stop me from whining and angsting about everything, be it stupid or pretty important. That's what being in the age range of 13-19 is ABOUT. That doesn't mean we're necessarily evil, though. We're growing into the world, trying to adjust to it, and hell, adjusting hurts because it isn't the pretty pansy world promised by our Disney cartoons, and we DON'T get our way like we did as children, but we also aren't encouraged to grow to be proper adults.
I resent being classified as something like what Mooncalf said because many people in the past have decided they know all my interests by heart because of my age... however, Mooncalf herself doesn't necessarily hate all teenagers. I'm sure she doesn't hate ALL of us, even if some of us tend to be whiny, self centered little dorks.
That or she REALLY IS full of shit and her opinion doesn't matter anyway. Woo.
Posted by saikou @ 06/21/2002 09:35 PM EST
