[Previous entry: "Love Me! Love My Fanfiction! Please?"] [Main Index] [Next entry: "Eye Surgery And Administrative Details."]

02/02/2002 Entry: "SMMTF? Simmitif?"

Have you ever noticed that certain extremely sensual characters just do not have sex?
No, seriously. Some books/games contain characters who are so aloof or strange or refined or just plain Beyond The Fucking We Know that it's damn near impossible to imagine them ever having sex with, well, anything. Some kinds of elves come across this way. So do some kinds of vampires.
Actually, Gothy vampires are an excellent way to demonstrate my point, assuming I have one. Instead of engaging in actual sex (which is, at times, embarrassing, silly, undignified, sweaty, and messy) they participate in dark sensual homoerotic blood-drinking scenes that don't even require them to take off their perfectly-tailored trousers. And yet, it comes across as somehow sexually replete anyway.

The acronym I've taken to using to describe this sort of extreme-sexuality-without-sex is SMMTF: 'Something More Mystical Than Fucking'. Generally pronounced 'simmitif'.

For example, removing names because I fear the fandom:
FRIEND: I think that [extremely powerful and aloof wizard] and [extremely powerful, aloof, weird, hundred-thousand-year-old vampire chick] are definitely having mad sex with each other.
ME: Oh, hell no. Those two don't have sex with anyone. Too undignified. I could see them having SMMTF, though.
FRIEND: ... yeah, okay, I can see that.
ME: Yeah... you know, they sit across from each other and glare meaningfully, she leans over and touches her long cold white fingers to his temples, they both shudder, and then they have a cigarette.
FRIEND: ... you're so weird.
ME: Yeah. But I'm right!
FRIEND: Hey, fuck you!
ME: Oh, no way. I'll have SMMTF with you, though! *wiggles fingers mystically*
FRIEND: Oooh baby.
ME: Shudder. Ooh. Was it good for you too?

... okay, so I really have no point. The term just amuses me utterly.

Replies: add your comment: currently 5 comments

I've......thought about this, I'll admit it, before. But I assure you it's never on purpose....You just can't help where your mind goes at times...
And now that I do purposely think about it some more, yes...there are a lot of characters like that out there. And you know what, I think it's for the BEST that way.... *_*

Posted by Wolf @ 02/03/2002 01:41 AM EST

Oh,..... That put a picture in my head......

Posted by Okochan @ 02/03/2002 02:40 PM EST

......::goes to read the Vampire chronicles::

Posted by Celes @ 02/03/2002 03:06 PM EST

There are just some characters (they're usually quite sensual, too) who could NEVER have sex because it is ENTIRELY too naked, sticky, sweaty, and awkward. It's way too undignified. They just wouldn't sink to that!

Posted by Ed @ 02/03/2002 10:08 PM EST

This is true, Moon... and then, expending that energy on actual sex would almost be a waste in some cases, I think. They need it to be even more smoooooov and/or badass. (smirk)

I love those charas though... just have to steer far clear of the inevitable fanfic bastardizations out there.

Posted by StB @ 02/04/2002 10:29 PM EST