I am not a girl.
I don't give a damn about boys, the color pink, makeup, the color pink, fashion, the color pink, jewelry, the color pink, dolls, the color pink, or Mary Kate and Ashley. Those hooker-in-training toys that give prepubescent girls electric blue eyelids or colorful bejeweled plastic talons do not appeal to me. I do not want to make my own Barbie lip gloss, develop crushes on boyband members, or learn to simper and squeal with Britney.
No matter what Toys Backwards R Us may think.
Furthermore, I am not a woman.
I still don't give a damn about makeup, fashion, or jewelry. Or, indeed, the color pink. Nor do I give a damn about plastic surgery, diets, Brad Pitt, or useless bibelots. Maybe I do give a damn about men, but only in their proper context. Those hooker-in-all-but-name habits that make aging women hang out in bars or learn to speak football do not appeal to me. I do not want to pay $22 for a lipstick, develop crushes on men twice my age, or learn to simper and squeal with Cameron Diaz.
No matter what Cosmopolitan may think.
That being said, however, it is reasonably obvious that I am a person of the female gender, having all the correct organs, glands, and inny bits. Therefore: seeing as how I am a person of the female gender, but I am not a girl nor a woman: what, indeed, am I?
Say hello to the third and uniquely Western gender: Geek.
Gender: Geek is not an accident of birth, but a reasoned choice; Geeks were once both male and female. Uncomfortable with the choices presented to us, we rejected what was offered and became Geek.
We were once women who cared more about our character's stats in Diablo 2 than our weight.
We were once men who cared more about women who could argue with us about King of Fighters than women who had been injected with silicone.
We were once women who purchased brightly colored pencils only to color on paper, not to tint our faces.
We were once men who could name every villain in every Final Fantasy game, but who would look at you blankly if you mentioned Dennis Rodman.
We were once women who knew more about HTML than white sauce.
We were once men who knew more about Grand Theft Auto than about the carburetor.
We were once women who spent $250 on a PS2 without blinking, but thought that spending more than $30 on a shirt was ridiculous.
We were once men who found the smell of a used bookstore more exciting than any expensive perfume.
We were once women who preferred comics to Cosmo.
We were once men who preferred Dragon Magazine to Sports Illustrated.
We were once women who owned one skirt, hidden away in case of emergency family weddings and funerals, who wore flannel and jeans every day, who regarded makeup askance and hairspray as laughable.
We were once men who understood the workings of a sewing machine enough to make cosplay outfits, who considered crossplaying at least once in their lives, who have unabashedly gone shopping for wigs to complete the costume.
Now, we are Geek.
As the third gender, we may sleep with whoever catches our fancy. There is no such thing as hetero or homo when one considers the existence of three genders. But why bother with Male or Female, when Geek-Geek love is so much more fulfilling?
Imagine a legally-sanctioned marriage in which both participants are interested in the exact same things.
Imagine a partnership based around things that brought you both joy, as opposed to continually compromising and giving in to your partner's wishes.
Imagine being excited about going home from work to play six hours of networked Starcraft with your wife and call each other terrible names.
Imagine getting into heated arguments about Michael Moorcock in a crowded restaurant, and pulling out the book to settle that argument as soon as you got home.
Imagine a relationship in which you could share everything: books, games, music, movies, videos, clothes, shampoo. A relationship in which there was no makeup and no sports, except possibly Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3.
Imagine a relationship in which you never had to wonder if your mate was only humoring your interests, or listen slack-jawed to a litany about something that bored you to tears.
I am Geek. I have given up my second X chromosome, just as my once-male Geek friends have given up their Y. And instead, we shall replace it with a G, for 'Geek'. We are Geek: XG.
Replies: add your comment: currently 25 comments
Moo?
I love you madly. I really, really do. And now I have a link to point at when I say (as I've been doing for a year or two now) that I'm 'exclusively geeksexual'. XD
Posted by Thea @ 11/08/2001 05:37 PM EST
Nezumi loves you, you paragon of Geekdom, you. And he's proud more than ever to be your uke and minion.
The line about the smell of a used bookstore touched Nezumi. It really did. Recently, he popped into one to buy a copy of Poe's "Tales of Mystery and Imagination" as research for a certain online costume party. When he opened the book, the smell of years on paper came out and it was intoxicating. And Nezumi's willing to bet that everyone reading this will know /exactly/ what that's like.
Goodness, you're grand.
Posted by Nezumi @ 11/08/2001 06:57 PM EST
Skimmer would like to proudly annouce her membership in the Geek gender. (Mind you, she's not giving up being a dyke to do this. She figures if a man can be a dyke she can certianly stay one even if she's not a woman.) However, she'll add that she actually owns makeup: grey eyeshadow and eyeliner, for drawing interesting swirls around her eyes when she feels like attracting the wondering stares of Neil Gaiman fans. This, she feels, is a perfectly acceptable use.
Posted by Skimmer @ 11/08/2001 07:08 PM EST
In a monumental turn of events, I will now officially own up to a gender.
I am geek. Thank you.
Posted by Ed @ 11/08/2001 07:19 PM EST
I would just like to say that before you spelled out what it stood for, my brain saw XG and immediately parsed it as "Xenogears."
3y3 iZ M4D G33K.
Posted by chaobell @ 11/08/2001 09:21 PM EST
*RUMBLING APPLAUSE*
Well-said once again, Moon!! Tell 'em the truth!! Once again, I cannot argue with your points.
Only too true. 'Nuff said. I wish I COULD find a relationship such as the one you describe....*Sigh*...
And I LOVE that bit about Xenogears!! That is the most truthful part of all!! LOL!!
Posted by Wolf @ 11/08/2001 09:44 PM EST
This is the way I've always thought about my relationships but my mother doesn't understand why I don't have a boyfriend. But I'm not giving up my goth makeup nad the hoy pink streak in my hair!
Posted by Celes @ 11/09/2001 10:44 AM EST
wow look at all the typos in that. I think i typed it with my eyes closed. ;p
Posted by celes @ 11/09/2001 10:45 AM EST
ALL HAIL MOONCALF! ALL HAIL THE GEEKS!
That is all.
Posted by tsaiko @ 11/09/2001 11:29 AM EST
LOL. Excellent piece, excellent. Unfortunately I haven't met any guy-geeks who are interested in anything other than some chick who can talk about King of Fighters *AND* look like Mai Shiranui... but one can hope, can't one. ;)
Posted by StB @ 11/09/2001 11:35 AM EST
To you I say, AMEN. Thank you for summing up what all of us think and feel. (Of course, buying makeup for Cosplay is acceptable, right?)
Posted by Connie @ 11/09/2001 12:02 PM EST
I have a black eyeliner and a green eyeliner, and some cheap eye shadow for when I feel like making a statement. Have I strayed too far from the Geek gender?
...nah.
Posted by Moonshine @ 11/09/2001 06:10 PM EST
HAAAAAAAH! I lurve you, Moonie.
Posted by Yscaldoom @ 11/09/2001 10:04 PM EST
*wanders into the blog looking bleary-eyed* Ugh. I should learn to stabilize my sleep schedule. That said, I am most assuredly Geek, and agree with the general value of Geekly things. *wanders away to find some sleep*
Posted by Nathan @ 11/10/2001 12:43 AM EST
Mooncalf, you are my hero.
Posted by Quezzie @ 11/10/2001 01:55 AM EST
Hail the Geeks! *bows and worships and fawns* For that is the new wave of the future.
*revels in her geekness*
Posted by Katalyna @ 11/10/2001 01:18 PM EST
*worships* You /rock/. I now have a gender! I've always wanted one... well, maybe I haven't, but it's nice to know there's one available. Just in case. Danke /sehr/.
Posted by harpy @ 11/10/2001 03:08 PM EST
IT'S SO TRUE!!! It's just... so... TRUE! Mooncalf, keep this up, and you'll be a cult leader in no time, for you are the Spewer of Truth.
Yes, finally... instead of calling myself "androgynous" (some honestly cannot tell my physical sex by looking at me, it's great), I can now call myself "geek", for I use my school breaks to read books I excitedly got from the library as I listen to foreign music by bands no one in school has heard of, or to drool over pictures of crossdressing Japanese band members and draw manga-style guys with long hair, only to go home and fire up my PS2 until I fall over asleep.
...And, I must say, that the part about Xenogears made me erupt into laughter, for that is EXACTLY what that stands for. ^_^ Please continue to be a beacon of light for us all!
Posted by Saikou @ 11/10/2001 09:13 PM EST
Oh my god, everybody does have a double. Well you prolly don't get excited over Seifer Almasy or Irvine Kinneas, but whateve. Maybe that's a good sign on my part, because I prefer them over Squall unlike almost every other girl I know (ew). And $30 for a skirt?! What crap do we live in?
Posted by Jenny @ 11/11/2001 11:56 AM EST
Hail! Hail! Huzzah!!
*trundles off to get more LoTR movie pics and read the books some more*
Posted by Evil_Quistis @ 11/11/2001 01:48 PM EST
Another on the geek bandwagon! That is sheer, utter genius, Moon. It's absolutely wonderful to know someone who knows who the hell Nobuo Uematsu is, isn't it?
Posted by Duo Maxwell @ 11/12/2001 11:07 PM EST
I don't happen to be a geek myself, but this is wonderful. It almost makes me want to reconvert from "artist" back to "geek". Makeup is fine for the right reasons; 99.9999% of reasons are totally wrong. Genius.
Posted by deldds @ 11/13/2001 07:13 PM EST
This post is now tied with the Soul Puppetry entry for having way too many damn comments.
Why yes, that's exactly why I commented again!
Posted by Ed @ 11/15/2001 06:51 AM EST
Woah. That's an _awesome_ idea. But why XG? Shouldn't it be GG, Gg, or gg? You can have incompatible geeks you know... that's why you can get raging rows about Star Trek vs Babylon 5, Linux vs FreeBSD... nevermind. I _love_ the idea of 'geek' as a gender! GG forever!
Posted by Jonny @ 11/21/2001 06:36 PM EST
BTW - if we have GG, then XG becomes 'XenoGeek'. For the alien in your life...
Posted by Jonny @ 11/21/2001 06:37 PM EST
