*singing*
Ohhh, my boyfriend is in Portland and my kitty is insane
And I can't go get breakfast 'cause outside it's pissing rain
And the television bores me, and I'm all out of comic books
And this web/IRC thing isn't as nifty as it looks
So I'm bored and I'm lonely and I'm depressed and in a rut...
Oh, well, screw you all then, dears, I'm off to look at smut!
It's smut! It's smut! It's glorious smut! It never lets me down!
Pull up the smut, affirm my age, and BABY! Go to town!
Some smut is great, some smut is bad. These things I understand.
Let's hear it for the Web, my dears, and its smut on command!
Some smut comes in pretty pictures, some comes in simple text
Some comes in complicated Flash, which really makes me vexed.
Some smut wants me to pay for it, to which I reply 'ha ha!'
'Cause the best smut is always free, or so I think, tra la.
It may annoy the government, and I may go to hell...
But until that day I'll read my smut and enjoy myself quite well.
It's smut! It's smut! It's raunchy smut! I'm blushing over here!
Anyone can do anyone, be they arrow-straight or oh so queer.
Some smut is quiet, some smut is loud. These things I understand.
Let's hear it for the Web, my dears, and its smut on command!
Some people like it sweet and kind, some people like it cruel,
Some people like the evil smut that breaks darn near every rule.
Some people like their solo smut, some people like three or more,
Some people like the kind with toys; who knows what they're for?
Some people like it short and sweet, and others like it long...
Some people like their smut with kids, and oh my god that's wrong.
It's smut! It's smut! It's pretty smut! Oh, my mind's aflame!
But please skip the euphemisms, because holy cow, that's lame.
Some smut is art, some smut is words. These things I understand.
Let's hear it for the Web, my dears, and its smut on command!
I like my smut with pretty boys, and for that I won't apologize.
The things that I find fascinating aren't for everybody's eyes.
Every one of us is different. Every one of us is BENT.
And the things that I get off on might leave you quite unspent.
So you can have your girly smut, but leave my sweet yaoi alone.
'Cause, goddamn it all, I like it when I hear biseinen moan.
It's smut! It's smut! It's yaoi smut! Let's hear the fangirls cheer!
Well, they can go out cheering, and I'll just stay down here.
Some smut is mine, some smut is yours. These things I understand.
Let's hear it for the pretty smut. On the Web, and on command.
Replies: add your comment: currently 11 comments
LOL!!
I take it this to be true poetry based on reality, eh, Moon? Heh.
Telling it like it is, as always.
^_'
Posted by Wolf @ 10/16/2001 09:47 AM EST
...
Sweet Jesus, Moo.
I'll be over here dying if anyone needs me. ^^
Posted by chaobell @ 10/16/2001 12:00 PM EST
.......... that was beautiful! ::tear::
Posted by Celes @ 10/16/2001 05:16 PM EST
hehehehe... ah, my god! I shall send all my friends this link. Dear Lord.
Posted by lattie @ 10/16/2001 05:24 PM EST
You're one demented cow. And we love you for it. ...and my tab key stopped working. Wah.
Posted by Ed @ 10/16/2001 08:09 PM EST
That.
Was.
Fabulous.
Posted by Lack Thereof @ 10/17/2001 03:26 PM EST
Mooncalf?
Marry me.
Posted by D @ 10/18/2001 05:17 AM EST
XDDD *tries not to die laughing* Oh... oh, that's incredible, Mooncalf. X3 We love you! *_*
Posted by Saikou @ 10/18/2001 07:45 PM EST
MARRY ME.
Okay, its unoriginal, but hey, I BROKE MY BRAIN.
Posted by Moonshine @ 10/19/2001 03:22 AM EST
...you are a crazy, brilliant, MOONCALF...you... *dies*
Posted by Quezzie @ 10/21/2001 11:42 PM EST
I bow down to your overwhelming greatness. You are the reason I read your blog.
(reads the last line she wrote)...
Right. Time for me to get some sleep.
Posted by Tsaiko @ 10/22/2001 09:45 AM EST
