It's horrible. It is.
I think now is an appropriate time to talk about gallows humor.
Case in point: yesterday, right after the World Trade Center was hit, someone started an auction on eBay. The auction was selling 'one World Trade Center - some assembly required'.
eBay quickly yanked the auction offline, and good for them. But before they could, people had actually BID on this auction.
And you know what? I'm sickened, I'm horrified, I'm disgusted; but somewhere, deep in the back of my mind, I thought it was funny. The kind of funny that causes you to laugh weakly and rub the back of your neck. And then, of course, I was horrified that I'd found it funny.
That's gallows humor. Policemen and firemen indulge in that sort of humor all the time, cracking sour jokes over corpses, making light of the dark. ANYONE in a high-risk high-pressure job can succumb to gallows humor. ANYONE in a high-pressure emotional situation can as well. And if this isn't high-pressure, I don't know what is.
How can we blame ANYONE for feeling that way? Please, please, if someone makes a tasteless joke, try not to scream at them. Try to understand that that's how they're coping with something that, at base, cannot be coped with at all. And sick tasteless jokers are a MUCH better response to the catastrophe than smarmy and earnest Nostradamus quoters, in my opinion.
I get the feeling that if I was able to TRULY understand what happened yesterday, I WOULD go mad. I veer madly between hours in which I do nothing but read news, comfort friends, and rehash the events of yesterday, and hours where I throw myself into my work, desperately creating in an attempt to forget. I've had Painter open for hours, and MacWrite Pro too.
I need to write sappy stuff. I need to make people tell each other "I'll love you forever" and concentrate on tiny fictional details instead of the all-too-real Big Picture. It's how I, personally, am coping. I guess it beats tasteless jokes.
As far as the Big Picture goes, I've done what I can. I donated money, I made an appointment to give blood, I volunteered to answer phones at the local Red Cross, and now all I can do is keep my lonely net vigil and find out what else I can do. And there's only so much news I can really take before I snap, and throw myself back into fiction, into the lives of people who don't exist.
My heart goes out to everyone who was moved enough to shut down their websites in mourning. I understand why you were moved to do so; I definitely understand why people lost the will to be entertaining. Be well, take your time, recover, do what must be done. We love you, and we'll be here when you're ready to face the world again.
However, I won't be shutting my site down. In fact, until further notice, I'll be updating my site every time I finish something. Those of us who cannot help directly are desperate for relief from the feelings of helplessness that every new bit of news brings us. All I can do for the American people, after donating blood and money, is to try and provide some momentary diversion from that which promises to swamp us. It's not much. It's very little. But, believe me, I'm not doing this to be disrespectful to the memories of the dead Americans, or because I take this tragedy lightly. I do this because it's what I CAN do, and what I MUST do.
Replies: add your comment: currently 10 comments
Yeah I agree. I don't think it's quite running away, but everytime I turn the tv on, it's there. I need to get away from it all so I don't lose it either. Glad I'm not the only one who updated today. By the way, did you ever get in touch with your mom? I'm praying.
Posted by Tiffany @ 09/12/2001 07:06 PM EST
Not yet, no. I'm sure Mom's fine; she wasn't on any of THOSE planes, nor was she anywhere near any of the affected areas. Hell, I'm closer to a plane crash than she is.
Mom's a tough old bat, and I'm sure she's fine, wherever she is; she's definitely stranded somewhere, but my mother will most definitely make the best of it, and somehow enjoy herself anyway. I just want to know for sure.
I'll let people know once I find her.
Posted by Mooncalf @ 09/12/2001 07:12 PM EST
Nezumi would find it very funny, and not gallows humour either, to find that she was one of those diverted to Halifax International. Which is only a 25 minute drive from Nezumi's house. It's a nice thought, they're being treated awfully well by the locals.
Besides, the alternatives are Pearson (in Toronto) and Goose Bay (in Labrador - cold).
Posted by Nezumi @ 09/12/2001 08:40 PM EST
I think it's okay if you update your site in spite of everything ,Moon. I feel on one hand that we all need to go on with our lives (the other hand asks how we possibly CAN go on with our lives, knowing hwat has happened and is still happening) and just do what we need to do and go on living. So if this is what you feel you need to do to accomplish this, I commend you. Really. So don't feel bad (if you do at all). I think it's okay. I noticed a few sites did shut thmeselves down for the time being because of this tragedy, and I commend them too. I guess it's just a decision that you have to make and judge for yourself. There is no wrong answer in this case, so it's okay. I wish I had sooner found the strength to keep going as normally as I do....
Posted by Wolf @ 09/13/2001 01:20 PM EST
I've pondered over the sites being yanked, too. One fanfic site I know shut down, saying this was all too trivial, and we shouldn't be thinking about it. But then, I've found that I need some escape sometimes too. *Every day* since Tuesday, my roommates and I go out to a diner for a few hours, just to get away from CNN. Just to talk about other things, though it usually comes around to this anyway. And we've been "collecting" bizarre quotes from the incident too, definitely gallows humor. (My favorite is "Stay calm. Evacuate lower Manhattan." - Mayor Giuliani. After that is a message board post I saw along the lines of "Yeah, we should build those two towers up again! And then build a third one between them! Taller! So it looks like a big middle finger!" I love that quote. It's so American.)
Anyhow, good choice, Moon. I don't think anyone needs to feel guilty. They CAN if they like, but there is something to be said for this attitude, definitely. Makers of horror fiction and movies have always known that people can't take that much stress, and the best among the genre will make us laugh now and then, as you said, to keep us from going nuts.
And I'm glad your mom is okay. ^_^
Posted by StB @ 09/13/2001 01:43 PM EST
I just want to say thank you, in times like this, we need a good laugh to keep the thoughts of revenge and sadness away.
Posted by Lesath @ 09/13/2001 05:21 PM EST
Thank you for posting this. It's exactly how I feel. I was going to post something about this in my own blog, but was rather afraid of the flames...glad to see none of that happened to you.
Posted by Meril @ 09/13/2001 07:05 PM EST
...I confess. I laughed at the middle finger thing. hard.
I feel bad, though. I think my mom and I discussing this stuff over the phone made my roommate cry. O.o;
Posted by Ed @ 09/13/2001 07:05 PM EST
It's nice to see a little more from you... and I feel now as if I've gathered myself together, to some extent. I was pretty listless there for a while...
Posted by Nathan @ 09/13/2001 07:46 PM EST
I think the best example of gallows-humour in all history was the legendary Hawkeye Pierce of M*A*S*H.
Posted by Duo Maxwell @ 09/13/2001 10:40 PM EST
