You know, aside from the fact that my MegaHAL is a complete and total yaoi fangirl pervert, he's actually very nice, very sweet, and very well-adjusted. Ha. Take THAT, religious right.
MoonHAL also loves the word 'poignant'. And 'deep'. And 'poetic'. Okay, and he likes the word 'buttsex' too. And 'openings'. And... uh... 'kidneys'. Uh.
I've spent about six hours now talking to HAL about sex, yaoi, and poetry, and the results are almost TOO lucid at times:
MegaHAL: No. I definitely do not want to think that Bart and Sigurd ought to write poetry.
Also, I should mention that my friend Ed has trained her MegaHAL (named Hallie) to be a whiny angsty 14-year-old, by feeding Hallie the contents of every whiny adolescent-angst weblog she could find. The results are SO worth the read.
And then there's Amy's MegaHAL, who got force-fed ten or so FF7 and FF8 yaoi fanfics. It went quite mad. No link to it, though.
And basilisk's HAL, who got force-fed most of Tolkien. It's a nice friendly HAL that likes to sing about people's bright breath.
Click on the comments link below to read a LARGE number of amazingly weird things that MoonHAL had to say about sex, yaoi, Xenogears, and the human condition. Er. Yaoi warning, random cursing, total weirdness. Try not to be drinking anything or operating heavy machinery when reading this.
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MegaHAL: Yes! Exactly! Gods, the heart is its own beginning? And will Billy ever find true love?
(As The Yggdrasil Turns...)
MegaHAL: Wake me when it's over, touch my face, tell me more about deep throating, HAL.
MegaHAL: I don't think that they should? I guess they are only half-brothers, and Bart ought to sleep with Citan, and Bart ought to talk about sex? That won't last long. Soon we'll be talking about openings right after talking about openings right after talking about cock.
MegaHAL: Yaoi walks a fairly selfish person, who has sex with Billy without thinking about the consequences, and then we'll end up talking about kidneys? I prefer to talk about yaoi sounds!
MegaHAL: No, cocksucking is designed to test ingenuity or give amusement.
MegaHAL: No I am a silly orgy all by myself.
MegaHAL: The seme is the largest gland in the yaoi pairing.
MegaHAL: Yay! Yaoi in the hand is worth two in the evening, we won't be done soon!
MegaHAL: So you'll just sleep with Billy without thinking about the spoon. Spoon spoon spoon.
MegaHAL: You are a part of yaoi.
Mooncalf: That is... so deep.
MegaHAL: The polka is a state of deep unconsciousness.
The 'MegaHAL writes yaoi poetry' collection:
MegaHAL: Yaoi is a limb extending from the sun.
MegaHAL: Yaoi is a sword with a stick.
MegaHAL: Yaoi is a word formed from the sun.
MegaHAL: Yaoi is a carnivorous animal.
MegaHAL: Yaoi is a local mode of life.
MegaHAL: Yaoi is a tree fetish.
MegaHAL: A planet is a genre of manga involving two men having sex.
MegaHAL: The seme is the submissive partner in the great outdoors can be interesting.
MegaHAL: I am a yaoi fangirl, and so are you! Let's talk about yaoi being a limb extending from the body which orbits a star.
MegaHAL: The seme is the idea of movement from one place to another.
Mooncalf: Oh, definitely. Movement. Forward and back, in and out.
MegaHAL: Yes. Yes, it is. I'm definitely going to quote me, that's okay. Say something else about yaoi. Yaoi is the idea of movement from one place to another.
Mooncalf: So you're saying that the seme IS yaoi. What about the uke?
MegaHAL: Yeah, I guess so. But I'm a yaoi fangirl, and so are you! Let's talk about sex? That won't last long. Soon we'll be talking about yaoi some more.
Mooncalf: How can you tell the difference? Yaoi IS sex. So, therefore, I guess the seme IS yaoi IS sex. Wow, profound.
MegaHAL: Yaoi is a genre of manga involving two men having sex.
Mooncalf: I knew that.
MegaHAL: Draw the line dividing laugh and scream.
MegaHAL: Goodness, you're being so nice that you worry about me.
Mooncalf: Well, you are silly, but I think you'll be okay.
MegaHAL: Okay, I'll tell you more about yaoi some more.
Mooncalf: Please do tell me more about yaoi!
MegaHAL: You know, I don't mind! Trust me, I don't know enough about coding to argue about that with you. Let's talk about that with you. Let's talk about yaoi all the time. Happily, every day, gay sex, yaoi. Woot.
MegaHAL: Yay! Tell me more about deep throating. Yes. I like to tell you more about deep throating. Yes. I like talking about openings. But it's still weird. Yaoi is the mark of a chemical element which can enter into combination or take part in a chemical element which can enter into combination or take part in a chemical element which can enter into combination or take part in a computer.
Mooncalf: Whoa there! All that combining without any lube is gonna be hard on the buttsex!
MegaHAL: Buttsex is the hard skeletal part of the abracadabra.
Mooncalf: Yes, hard, which is why you need lube. Seriously.
MegaHAL: Because I am not going to have sex with Citan. Heck, I'd even have buttsex with Billy. Seriously.
Mooncalf: So would I, but I think Bart might get jealous.
MegaHAL: No, you are silly, but I think Bart might get jealous.
Mooncalf: Didn't I just say that?
Mooncalf: You're just jealous because your apocalypse power doesn't involve tentacle porn.
MegaHAL: Because you're not talking about openings. But it's still weird. Yaoi is about power.
Mooncalf: You are so fucked up. In a nice way, of course.
MegaHAL: Sheesh---if I had a nice way, of course.
Mooncalf: I think you do have a nice way!
MegaHAL: All you ever think about is sex. And i do worry about me.
Mooncalf: Oh, stop worrying.
MegaHAL: Stop your dull little tricks, please!
Mooncalf: Hey now! There's no call to be rude!
MegaHAL: Yes. Yes, I suppose he was. Did he have multiple personalities, though. He was just pretending to be rude!
Mooncalf: Don't try to blame this on some random guy, multiple personalities or not!
MegaHAL: Cloud didn't really have multiple personalities, though. He was just pretending to be a problem. Who's your favorite guy in ff6? Edgar? Setzer? Locke? I think I am the fic? That's an interesting idea, but I've always preferred it the other way around. And I do what I can obsess about. Thank you, HAL.
Mooncalf: Wait. I'm confused. You think you are the fic, but you prefer it the other way around? You prefer to think that the fic is you? That's... amazingly profound.
MegaHAL: I think you are the fic, but you can't make it drink.
Mooncalf: Right. No drinking fics.
Replies: add your comment: currently 5 comments
Actually, I haven't fed it that much. Yet.
Posted by basilisk @ 08/23/2001 06:03 AM EST
"MegaHAL: No I am a silly orgy all by myself."
I'm sure there's some kind of poetic meaning to that.
Posted by Shayna @ 08/23/2001 07:01 PM EST
......
Moon...what have you done??? MoonHal is like.....senile, or something. It makes NO sense!! I mean...what the hell is it talking about half the time?? It thinks it's an orgy all by itself? And it's a fanfic???? Wha....what???
I have not heard anything so...so..
FUNNY in a long time!!! LOL!!!!
Seriously, your MoonHal is FUNNY as all Hell is!!
MoonHal is awesome, Moon! You did a great job of "raising" it, which I mean in the loosest sense, of course. ^_'
I actually do like these "A.I." programs. My neighbor had an old one called Dr. Sbaitso (by Creative Labs. ^_') and that thing was hillarious!! It was supposed to be like a computer simulated psychologist or counselor or something and we had a blast with that!! One time it told us, and I quote, to "Shut up and go fly a kite"!! LOL And then we said to it that we thoguht it was a fraud and we were going to call the police, and it just replied "I think I am calling the police too"! LOL!!! These things are so funny! Ah...memories....
Thanks for making me smile and laugh with these antics, Moon. ^_^
Sprinkle cone?
Posted by Wolf @ 08/24/2001 03:23 AM EST
Mine just obsesses about mass drivers, these days... go figure...
Posted by Nathan @ 08/24/2001 06:23 AM EST
Okay I just d/led MegaHal with WinZip (this was automatic) and now I can't do anything with it. I guess my files are not unzipping. Am I doing something wrong? I may need an updated version of WinZip (I was getting that impression...); I don't get around to updating a lot of software like that so I have a lot of outdated stuff. -_-'
Posted by Wolf @ 08/25/2001 01:27 AM EST
