So. I'm twenty-eight. (Actually, I'll be twenty-nine this Friday. Woo me. Okay, digression over.)
Twenty-eight sure sounds like a REAL age, doesn't it? All my life I wanted to be older, and now I am. It's odd, really; in Internet time, I'm ancient. I interact mostly with people who are five to ten years younger than I am, and they're always suitably impressed at how old I am when they find out.
Then I slip, and refer to myself as 'old' when talking to real people. Boy, you should see their expressions. And yet, I FEEL old a lot. I'm a cranky old curmudgeonly techno-Luddite with plenty of scorn to go around. I guess I'm as old as I think I am, but...
Sometimes I wonder, am I mature?
Well, the obvious answer is 'no'. After all, I hang around with a crowd younger than I am, I play computer games, I watch cartoons, I have been known to dance with my friends in the food courts of malls and carry water pistols into airports. (Oddly enough, I didn't get in trouble for either of those activities.)
But to heck with that. What you enjoy really doesn't have anything to do with maturity, Mooncalf says. So what does?
Personally, I think that the true hallmark of maturity is being able to support yourself and function in the adult world, as it exists today. Sure, there's a lot that's missing from that equation. And no, it doesn't make any sort of allowances for emotional/mental problems, either. That's a WHOLE different techno-Luddite bagel, and I'm not biting into it. (I'll explain the whole techno-Luddite thing in a minute.)
But if you've grown out of the emotional excesses of high school ('ohmigod he didn't call me I'M GOING TO DIE!') and you've learned how to make personality sacrifices in order to get along with other people, well, that's maturity. If you've got the willpower and the skill to hold down a job, instead of skipping out whenever you feel like it, that's also maturity. If you're able to save money towards what you want, instead of wasting it all at once, hey, that's maturity. Who really gives a shit what other personality weirdnesses you have, which of your other traits your parents call 'immature'? You can survive in the modern world on your own. You're exactly as mature as you need to be, and fuck the techno-Luddite rest.
Okay. All that aside. Once I started wondering about this issue, I sat down and asked myself the following: if I was mature (assuming I was from the definition above), which recently-learned traits were hallmarks of that maturity? How did I KNOW? What had I LEARNED? What the heck is a TECHNO-LUDDITE?
1). I finally internalized the difference between THINGS THAT I, PERSONALLY, LIKE and THINGS THAT ARE GOOD. Conversely, the difference between THINGS THAT I, PERSONALLY, HATE and THINGS THAT SUCK. I, personally, like silly cheesy brainless 80s rock. That doesn't mean it's any good. I know this now. I, personally, like Goth-oriented comic books. That doesn't mean they're any good.
I, personally, hate DBZ. That doesn't mean it sucks. Well, it does suck. But not because I hate it.
The next time you see someone online proclaiming 'Sailor Moon sucks! I hate it!' -- not Mooncalf-mature. Not techno-Luddite.
2). I learned that there is no point to arguing with people about most things. No one EVER changes their minds on stuff, unless it's unimportant work-related stuff they feel obligated to weasel on anyway. Just smile, grit your teeth, and let it go. Also, feel free to make incredibly snide comments to your friends who think like you.
3). Sex is nice. Sex is fun. Sex is diverting. Sex is a good topic of conversation. But sex really isn't very important in the grand scheme of things.
4). Comfort beats looks, every time. This goes for clothes, shoes, hairstyles, furniture, housing, pets, boyfriends, cities, countries, and techno-Luddites.
5). Lying about yourself, your habits, your likes and dislikes, or ANYTHING is about the stupidest damn thing you can do. Sure, it may win you a boyfriend or a circle of friends. But then there you'll be, with a boyfriend/girlfriend who's really in love with someone else, someone who is not you.
You don't want someone to care about you for all the wrong reasons. Not even if the sex is mindblowing. Sex really isn't that important, remember? How many hours of each day can you spend having sex, as opposed to, say, sorting the laundry and playing games and talking?
6). In the entire world, there are maybe four, five people who actively hate you and want to hurt you, unless you are a very volatile person. There are lots of people who like you fine, and probably several who love you. No one else gives a damn about you. Stop trying to make them.
7). Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there that you just can't trust. Get things in writing. Question the media. Double-check everything.
Sure, almost anyone, mature or not, can look at this list and say 'sure, I knew that'. But in order to be fully mature, you need to INTERNALIZE these things. These things need to be your first line of thought. You can't stop and think about them. You just DO them. That's your goal, if you want to be Mooncalf-mature. And you do, don't you?
Oh, and if you were wondering, a techno-Luddite is the opposite of an early adaptor. We have computers and Internet connections, but we resist getting cable modems because we are lazy. We despise cell phones and pagers, but we'll get them if we have to. We like the idea that we can be out of your reach for hours at a time.
We only developed Web sites two years after everyone else did. We still use Netscape 4.7 because more recent, more functional web browsers piss us off. We read real books. We do not own Palm Pilots, DVD players, portable MP3 players, or eBooks.
And the only tiny electronic device that we ever carried around in our pocket was a Tamagotchi. Which we neglected horribly.
Replies: add your comment: currently 7 comments
Wow.....pretty deep, Moon. O_O'
Most of these things, yes, I would probably have said "I knew that" to, but sometimes we still don't THINK about them all the time. A lot of things are like that, I guess. At least with ME. *sweat drop* You made excellent points and I more or less agree with all of them. These are things that oh too many people do NOT take into account, or at least, not as much as they should. You sure are wise, Moon! I guess it does come with age. And speaking of which, yeah, I can imagine people giving you funny looks if you call yourself old! lol Which you are not.
And Happy Early Birthday!! I guess I actually did sent my piece to you just in time, non? Cool! ^_'
Posted by Wolf @ 07/29/2001 03:54 PM EST
Ehehe, I wouldn't consider a 29 year old person 'old'...oh well, Happy Birthday.
PS-The Momo costume was cute.
Posted by Shinji @ 07/29/2001 05:31 PM EST
Wow, as an immature person I would like to say you really hit the nail on the head. It's the trust thing that sums it up; I have this horrible tendency to assume that everyone is nice and will like me if I like them. I know this is not true but somehow I only remember this after the fact. I have not internalized.
Anyhow, the point is you make quite a few sharp observations; that's why your blog is one of the best.
Posted by lucklacking @ 07/29/2001 10:20 PM EST
Applause is in order, for both the entry and the 29th anniversary of Mooncalf. Happy everything!
Posted by Darkmoon the Mad @ 07/30/2001 01:31 AM EST
Here's wishing you a happy birthday... and a general agreement with your observations.
Posted by Nathan @ 07/30/2001 02:38 AM EST
Yes, I'd have to say that those are some excellent points. Although, I'd suggest that people remember that not everyone is unknowing of those concepts simply because they're young-- I've been embittered all my life and not given any credit for it. heh heh. And certainly a great many never catch on to the obvious. But whatever.
Probably, though, the best thing I've learned through aging is that no matter how bad things are, they can, and will, change. It might take a year, five years, or maybe only a week, but it happens. I think that's the coolest. The fact that the potential is always there for you to have a moment of clarity and simply make a decision, or to work yourself out of a crap situation over time.
Posted by Andrya @ 07/30/2001 09:07 PM EST
Awww... I liked this one, and then the one after it basically took it all back. :( Well... for now... I think there was a lot of truth in this one. (Or maybe I'm too old and full of it. The Net does skew ages in a very, very bizarre fashion, by the way; that observation was dead-on.)
I think there are things to be learned from maturity (like "things I like" vs. "things that are good") and things to be learned from immaturity (energy, enthusiasm, ability to take joy in simple things--which is harder than it seems for some). Um, someone at some point said that the best way to go is a balance. That made sense, too.
Enough rambling, self. Okay, self.
Happy birthday, Mooncalf. ^_^
Posted by Anonymous (again) @ 07/31/2001 03:13 PM EST
