[Previous entry: "Fear The Nathan."] [Main Index] [Next entry: "Fly The Uncaring Skies!"]

07/03/2001 Entry: "Fruity? Sure He's Fruity! But What KIND Of Fruit?!"

I ran across this yaoi site that classifies their content as lemon, lime, grapefruit, and orange; lemon for hardcore, lime for softcore, grapefruit for lightly risque', and orange for completely clean. Now, I'd never heard of the latter two before, so I haven't the faintest idea if they're canon or not. I'd only ever heard 'lemon' and 'lime' before.

But I'm thinking, why stop there? Heck, let's think up a fruitiness for every eventuality! Why stop at citrus? Why stop at ALL?

Blueberry! The submissive partner must remain asleep during the sex act!
Blackberry! The same as blueberry, but it also involves the use of clever toys! Sacks and donkeys optional!
Raspberry! Code name for spanking hentai, in which buttocks are slapped to a rosy red hue!
Apple! Any hentai offering involving bespectacled characters! (If said bespectacled character is a computer geek, then the proper appellation is 'Macintosh Apple'.)
Watermelon! Hentai creation involving fat characters!
Banana! Any hentai starring male characters with multiple genitalia!
Tangerine! Any G-rated picture which is extra-sweet and nice!
Peach! Any picture or fic which focuses to a great extent on the female buttocks!
Pear! Just like peach, but the buttocks must be larger!
Mango! Involves 'exotic' characters, whether foreign or alien!
Starfruit! Must have five characters, all in bed together!
Grape! Involves at least THIRTY characters who all look alike! (So-called 'Green Grape' occurs when none of the thirty characters has ever had group sex before. Much fumbling, many mistakes!)
Kiwifruit! A fic so bad, so raunchy, that its very existence causes nations to crumble and banks to fail! (Certain factions of hentai fandom call these 'kiwi' instead of 'kiwifruit'. This distinction has been known to cause hair-pulling fights and knifings. Beware!)
And 'Coconut'... the mere mention of a Coconut fic causes chaos and horror. If one were ever written, the very universe would be in peril!

Replies: add your comment: currently 9 comments

Only "lemon" and "lime" are canon. Definitely. :) -Random Info

Posted by Anonymous @ 07/03/2001 01:44 PM EST

..........

LOL!!

Posted by Wolf @ 07/03/2001 05:53 PM EST

Hmmm... how about Starburst! Where absolutely all of the above happen! [grin]

Posted by Lex @ 07/03/2001 11:04 PM EST

Pineapple: Situations between people wearing glasses - but while in the forest!

And I think I've actually read a fic so /unintentionally/ bad, it could be classified as "Kiwifruit".

Posted by Geo @ 07/04/2001 12:22 AM EST

Are we sure we're talking about fanfiction and not skittles flavors?

Posted by Ed @ 07/04/2001 02:59 AM EST

I found this quite funny... until I saw some banana bunches in the grocery store today. The image from this blog forcibly pushed into my mind, at that point. I'm scarred for life! *sobs*

Posted by Nathan @ 07/04/2001 05:00 AM EST

Methinks I shall start writing a coconut...be afraid. Be very afraid.

Posted by Darkmoon @ 07/04/2001 06:53 AM EST

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH! That's EVIL! I'll never look at bananas the same way again.. >.<

Posted by Yscaldine @ 07/04/2001 03:28 PM EST

Mooncalf-san... you're disturbed.

The world could do with more Apple 'fics, of course. ^_^

Posted by Georgia / MHG @ 07/11/2001 05:02 AM EST